It’s been a while…

So, I took some time out to concentrate on my uni work and just recently got back in the saddle (literally, as I finally just got flying!).

While I did not miss solo questing, I did miss the shenanigans to be had in groups. Be it world quests, dungeons and raids.

Recently I have been just uploading to the twitter page the interesting/funny things that have been going on. Many a time over discord there will be the sounds of “She’s tweeting rather than killing the boss…” but in all fairness, when things are so funny that I can’t see what I’m doing due to tears of laughter… I may as well tweet…

 

This place gives me nightmares. Particularly nightmares of being at the last boss with someone who doesn’t know how to operate a ball of light.

We did this with a keystone and holy hell, I’ve never had so much fun dying.

Vault of the Wardens contains a lift boss. Lift bosses are, as everyone knows, the hardest bosses in the whole of WoW. To get an idea, Gul’dan is as frightening and mean as a wet leaf in comparison. As soon as you see a moving platform, you know that death is imminent for at least one of your team.

Sorry Gul’dan…

Now, in this particular instance there were four guildies and one pug, a pretty decent Rogue (didn’t remember to jot down his name but he was such a good sport he should be given some sort of ‘I survived a KLR Keystone Dungeon’ achievement). We were doing a level 10 to ensure we got best loot from our chests at the end of the week and it just so happened to be for this dungeon.
We cut a path through the first part of the dungeon and things were dropping like flies. As we came towards the lift boss, I was the slowest due to the Aspect of the Cheetah being nerfed so I did my 180 disengage to give myself a speed boost.
This was all fine and dandy but I decided that it wouldn’t be in my best interests to stop at the edge of the lift with everyone else, oh no. I decided to just keep running and sailed past them all into the hole.
As there were screams over Discord (due to the fact if I couldn’t grab back a shred of dignity with a perfectly timed disengage before landing, I just lost us some time) I saw a level of the floor go past me and panicked. Disengaged into the wall and fell down another two floors…

Not only did I fuck up big time. I also killed the Rogue. Who decide upon seeing me throw myself down the hole thought the lift must be coming up and jumped in after me. Realising too late that he was taking the fast lane to sure death right at the bottom.
Releasing and running back, I got there before the lift had even made its way back up to the top. I was in hysterics. I couldn’t stop laughing. It was probably due to the heart stopping stress of what I had done only 10 seconds earlier.

As we actually got onto the lift and made it down, we made a tactical error of tanking the boss in the middle of the room, by the massive hole in the middle. My DPS was abysmal. with tear filled eyes I couldn’t see anything of what was going on. I could vaguely make out the purple swirly line to face but what the fuck I was supposed to be hitting? Not a chance.
Through this as well, our healer also met his maker (is that a tree?) by being drop kicked into the hole of doom.
The lift boss had eaten three people now…
The healer was dead, the tank got flattened and the boss (the real one) had 5 or 6% left on it. After asking for a tissue to try and get some sense of vision back Raidwiper had tank mode engaged and slowly but surely we managed to kill the boss. I think three of us survived, I managed to for sure but it might only have been one other person with me…

Skipping along to the dude who seems to have taken the wrong turn out of Molten Core and ended up in the Vault… For some reason, rather than jumping off the ledge to get to the platform asap, one of my co-DPS decided to take a leisurely stroll down the stairs.

“Why the fuck are you taking the stairs?”
“I don’t know!”
“Get your ass down here!”

On the way up, it was a little different…

“Now you can walk up the stairs…”

The giant chess board kinda boss. You know, Durumu mark II was another downfall.
I don’t particularly like this boss, I think it might be something to do with the Vietnam flashbacks from Throne of Thunder and that fucking maze that makes me dislikehate this boss. We didn’t manage to get it down before that stupid light beam phase so Paksenarrion toddled off to turn the pillars around. I was quietly minding my own business and keeping out of trouble in a corner when suddenly I was dead on the floor. “What the fuck! Why am I dead!” I’d dogged all the shit balls flying out everywhere and yet here I was, a time penalty on the floor. It dawned on me, there was a beam of light traveling right through where I was stood. I checked my combat log. Yup, it was the equivalent of a magnifying glass on an ant.
“You hit me with the beam… for fuck sake”

The final boss. Never have more screams been heard than when a bunch of adults don’t see where the gap in the advancing green army of doom is. Just running at the wall because we literally had no clue where the gap was.
Never has more frantic noises been uttered than when five adults start hyperventilating the words “Where is she!!!?!”.
Never has more sage advice come from anyone else than the person who utters “The green things are bad, don’t get hit by the green things…”
This is the boss where you can start running around like a headless chicken and screaming and no one will care because even if they are not externally projecting it, you know they are doing it on the inside. So many things can go wrong yet your so close to getting your chests.
I literally do not know how we managed it but we got three in the end. Brute force at some points I think.
Yet, out of ALL the bosses, the fucking lift killed more people…

 

I think I had a level 12 keystone for Eye of Azshara. May have been level 11 but I was higher than the Vault of the Wardens one we just did.
We decided to go for it as it is a fairly straightforward dungeon. HA. WHATEVER.

So the first boss, the Naga bastard who keeps throwing spears around. I got targeted and as I was hiding behind an add, the fucking thing dies. luckily, it got absorbed. I got targeted again, except this time we had an add stunned next to the cliff. I got impaled just as I got to it… my corpse fell through it as I flopped down face first with a spear bigger than I was poking out of my back.

Then as we were making our way around to the next one (The one who plays ‘the floor is lava’ but with water) when I was trying to make it through the water on my trusty steed so I didn’t pull the add at the side when I got hit by lightning and knew I was in trouble.

“oh fuck”
“Whats going on? Why are you dying!?!”
“I’ve been hit by lightning. SHIT!”

I died and released, and ran back, this time on my Water Strider. Jumping off the same rock that I had been told to jump off before, I started out into the water and got electrocuted again…

“Why are you dying again!?!”
“I keep getting electrcuted!”
“The lightning is bad! That’s the last boss! Why are you running at the last boss?!?”
“I’m trying not to pull the add…”
“OMG. Meet her half way and go get her and I’ll pull…”
“You released! Whhhyyyyy did you release!?!”

I did eventually make it past the water but I did pull the add and died there. So I had four deaths to my name and we were rapidly running out of time.

Ah, you can actually make that five as I died to the ‘floor is lava’ boss as I got pelted with that purple vomit stuff that you blast out and knocked into the water before being electrocuted in there as well… FML.

On the snake head boss (you know, Megaera 2.0) we pulled too much trash, people kited shite over others and we got two seagulls. It was a clusterfuck. The tank died but so did the boss due to the sheer output from two main raiders. We waddled on to the next boss, the dude with the balls and shit all over the floor.

We made a boo boo however when the tank had a Captain America moment and pulled a snail from outside the instance. Suddenly, we weren’t all that worried about the boss and more concerned with being eaten alive by a very fresh escargot.
(These dungeons seem to have a theme of recycled stuff from Throne of Thunder…)

Moving on past the great snail massacre of 2017 we came back to the last boss.


Fun fact! It has only just dawned on me that the last boss is actually in the middle of all the other bosses. Because we run around so much I thought it was miles away from the entrance… It didn’t even dawn on me when his entourage kept annihilating me when I was trying desperately to make it over to the other bosses… but considering I can get lost in a box, what did you expect…?

We caused chaos with the last boss. We spread out all over the place, dispelling was luck of the draw depending on if you were close enough, all the swirlies and the waves had us running around. I had the Monk come over to me when he had a circle around him and my raiding instinct went “Nope!” so I disengaged and skipped off, leaving him yo get cosy with the healer, who promptly died when the swirly went boom. We wiped and raced off to try and organise ourselves like the cool calm and collected raiders we were. LOL yeah right… There was more screaming, running around, not knowing the difference from our left and right.
We just finished the boss in time and we stood there looking for our chests.

“Where the fuck are the chests?”
“Oh my fuck, we haven’t killed enough!”
“Runnnnn! Quickly pull anything!!!!!!!!”

We literally ran into anything we could find and started killing them, anyone who could pull pulled, Raidwiper was allowed to growl at things so I could pick off the crabs I had found until we managed to kill enough to complete.

Jogging back, there were our shiny chests. Funnily enough, we haven’t classed that dungeon as easy anymore…

Pepe

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Ah Pepe, you fluffy little in game bird that has annoyed and delighted players in equal measures.

When he first came out I did take a passing glance at him and then shrugged off his existence. Completely forgetting about him until yesterday.
Why yesterday you ask? Well that would be the arrival date of the Pepe plushie in the photo above. However, he’s not mine. This little fuzzball belongs to Francis.

His arrival time was some ungodly hour of the morning and was a surprise due to the poor little chap being squeezed into a FedEx ‘medium’ box (with no air holes, the monsters!)

Once back at my own computer I logged in and went to his tree. There he was, sat there doing not a lot. I clicked on him but wasn’t close enough. I mounted up but even on the biggest mount I had I still couldn’t reach him. I flew up a little. I was now technically in reach but was greeted with the message ‘you are mounted’. I tried to land in the tree. That didn’t work and as a result of my efforts all I had managed to do is cause him to go away.
Being Pepe-less I went to Stormshield to collect my seals (I haven’t been near my computer for five days) and have a look at what goodies having a feathered friend would bag me.
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The bird whistle is the obvious item. If you like Pepe then you want him all the time! There was a lot to get through and I still had the whole ‘he flew the nest’ thing to contend with.
I was informed that if I went back into my Garrison it would reset him. So back I went, ran up to his tree to be confronted with an empty branch. I went out and back in my Garrison twice more, each time getting to the branch and seeing nothing. I tried the /tar Pepe and nothing happened, I tried it out on another npc milling around and it worked perfectly. At this point I conceded that Pepe was gone forever and I decided to look at wowhead to have a look at the bird whistle achiement in more detail due to the number of raid bosses you need to kill.

It was upon reaching the comments section I decided to read through them as there can be comedy gold in those posts, scrolling through comments about not having certain critter killing pets out, I then stumbled on this…
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Little feathery bastard had been hiding from me!
Lo and behold, there he was…
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He looks like Leatherface. Creepy little shit…
Anyway, I collected him and got the achiement for finding him in his scarecrow costume (wut?) and had his fat ass on my head as we went in to raid. Trash went a bit wrong and he decided that there was no reason to hang around with my corpse so he buggered off again.

I might be tempted to complete this, as he is kinda cute but the sheer effort needed now nothing is current is going to be horrendous. Unless I can convince the raid team to spam the old dungeons and raids while we have birds sitting on our heads it’s going to be a lfr job… Can I actually be that bothered? Possibly not!
Anyone wondering about what you need, boss wise, the list is below. Good luck!

Gug’rokk: The last boss in Bloodmaul Slag Mines

Teron’gor:The last boss in Auchindoun

Skulloc:The last boss in Iron Docks

Ner’zhul: The last boss in Shadowmoon Burial Grounds

Skylord Tovra: The last boss in Grimrail Depot

Yalnu: The last boss in The Everbloom

High Sage Viryx: The last boss in Skyreach

Warlord Zaela: The last boss in Upper Blackrock Spire

Brackenspore: Boss in Highmaul

Ko’ragh: Penultimate boss in Highmaul

Oregorger: Boss in Blackrock Foundry

Hans’gar & Franzok: Boss in Blackrock Foundry

Operator Thogar: Boss in Blackrock Foundry

Beastlord Darmac: Boss in Blackrock Foundry

Kargath Bladefist: First boss in Highmaul

Twin Ogron: Boss in Highmaul

The Butcher: Boss in Highmaul

Tectus: Boss in Highmaul

Imperator Mar’gok: Final boss in Highmaul

Blast Furnace: Boss in Blackrock Foundry

The Iron Maidens: Boss in Blackrock Foundry

Kromog: Boss in Blackrock Foundry

Gruul: Boss in Blackrock Foundry

Flamebender Ka’graz: Boss in Blackrock Foundry

Blackhand: Final boss in Blackrock Foundry

Drov the Ruiner: World boss in northern Gorgrond

Tarlna the Ageless: World boss in southern Gorgrond

Rukhmar: world boss in Spires

 

Lilouann needs a helping hand

After what could only be described as a disastrous night raiding it was decided that I need to gear up Lilouann so that we could have that magical third healer.
Looking at my gear it was a sorry sight.
As I don’t like healing dungeons I’d never bothered with proving grounds. I’d essentially found the right treasure loot or bought what I needed to bypass hc dungeons and go straight into lfr in Highmaul.

When I was talking to the guys about it, I confessed that I’d only ever attempted bronze at level 90 and that was it.

“I still need to start the legendary on this char…” I laughed.
“Oh my god” Francis whispered.
“Oooh” Rawls said.
“I’m going to boost you through the dungeon. Come on” Francis said decidedly.

We were off towards Skyreach for that stupid band thing. Ketod came along as well and we got two lowly players who as a happy accident were boosted as well.
One of them asked why it was a boost run.
“Slacking healer needs a ring” Francis replied
After the band was looted we Garrison hearthstoned.
“Now go do proving grounds”
“I can’t”
“What?”
“I tried and failed so I gave up on it and just geared myself for lfr” I replied, laughing.
“How do you expect to raid heal?” Rawls asked, unconvinced.

There was a flurry of whispers and finally Francis asked “shall we give it a go Ella?”
The giving it a go resulted in the two of us in a meeting room and one very confused recital of log in details.

Eventually, he was in. We rejoined the chat group and he had a bit of a mealtdown.
“Oh my god Ella! Your ui is going to give me seizures!”
“Why do you have run keybound to S?”
“What keys do you use to move?”
“Z and X, right?” Rawls interjected.
“I use the arrow keys to move. They’re just for strafing” I added
I tried to log into armory but ended up cutting him off.
“I got dc-ed. Did you try to log in again?”
“No I went on armory”
“Ok maybe don’t log into anything, you’re going to have to just sit there on ts”

Francis logged me back in and went to proving grounds and got through bronze.
“I just used tide on the last bit…”
“Where is ascendance?”
“Um somewhere between Q and P…” I said, not entirely convinced it was.
“I don’t even know what I’m doing”
“Ella do you have a flask?”
“I don’t think so… I might have a crystal of insanity…”
“Where’s that?”
“Press B and it’s in the top row”
“That’s the old one… hang on. I’ve found a flask”

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He started on silver. We all went quiet.
“Fuck sake I just tried to turn around and used wind shear instead…”
Ketod broke the silence to ask how it was going.
“Nearly there. Shuuusssh”

Shit was getting serious.

“I’m done. And I’m going to log off your account as I literally can’t look at your ui anymore”

Ketod asked me to log in again to give me some upgrades. I literally was yawning at everyone on ts and as it was 11:45 and I needed to be up at 6, I had to request they were mailed to me.

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Apparently I was logged out in proving grounds. I’m suprised I wasn’t left on top of some random tower in Theramore! Apparently my ui is so bad that he didn’t trust himself to not have a seizure getting over there!

Cata dungeons

The easter break means raids have been put on hold for two weeks. The first week was a little ‘confusing’ for the few of us who were logging in. Not enough to raid and not wanting to Pug some angry teenagers, we inevitably just hung around in our Garrisons until boredom overcame us.

This week I’ve been a bit more proactive. I competed lfr in one go and then did something I haven’t done in a while. I opened up my achievements tab.
I was suprised to see I had over 11,000 points. Not bad for someone who discovered dungeons for the first time at the tail end of Cata. Now Dungeons and Raids is my ‘go to’ section for things to do during downtime.

Having a flick through I settled on the Cata dungeons to have a crack at. There was a lot I hadn’t done. Zul’gruub and Zul’aman being two I hadn’t done at all. I knew where Zul’gruub was so I headed off there.
The last time I went in here on my own I failed miserably. The boss on the altar with the two swirly green lines had hexed me or done something to me where I couldn’t kill it. After ressing I just left not giving it a second thought. This time (and with me being slightly over geared for it) it should be a walk in the park/jungle.
It was to an extent. I got lost. I had to keep checking my mini map to try and work out where mobs were. On the final encounter I had to check Wowhead to see what to do with the chains. The time spent meant that I had a zillion ghosts pummeling me and was in the 30% health region. After completing it I did discover a while host of achievements that I’d glossed over. Some I had got just by being able to one shot bosses. I’d missed the kitty one and also due to being a bit soft and feeling that I should let him get on with his work, I’d not killed the master chef either.

Briefly looking through I paid a visit to Uldum as there were three dungeons there that I needed things in.
Heading into the Lost City first I knew I needed a lot of angry crocodiles and also to get electrocuted a whole bunch. Both of which were easy to come by. I’d also killed everything in there and when I got out, mounted up and headed into the sky just in case the reason that there were lots of skeletons around was still about. I checked my list again and realised that I’d missed one. I’d have to wait to come back for that solitary achievement.

I then made a list. On actual paper. Of The dungeons and what achievements I had left in them. I didn’t particularly want to have to keep going back to shrine and then to Stormwind every time because after I’d killed things I’d realised I’d missed something. I was wearing the portals out as it was and I’d run past the same character afk’ing at the Mage Tower at least five times.

Onwards to Vortex Pinnacle. Which I really think is quite a beautiful dungeon. When it isn’t covered in skeletons.
I had ‘kill Asad quick’ and ‘gather 5 Orbs’. I had the crazy notion that the Orbs were the light pillars of which there were two at the start. I wandered over to it and just sort of walked off the edge thinking I would land on it and jobs a good’un. The answer was ‘no.’ and I fell off the edge like a fool. I had to admit I had no idea what the Orbs liked like so had to have a quick Google of what I was looking out for. Turns out they were pretty large and I really shouldn’t of been able to miss them but after taking three chars through this dungeon on HC I could honestly say I had never ever seen them before. Observation skills 0 – treating all chars like a Hunter and going ‘afk’ 10.
I got two really easily, another two were with the Drake boss (which coincidently handed me the reins to the Drake of the North Wind again) the fifth one nearly lead me to punching my laptop.
‘Jump off and click furiously!’ Claimed nearly every single wowhead user. That’s all very well and good but I have a track pad and having to use the up key and then the space bar to jump up and out, and then to position my cursor over the orb to then be able to click furiously was easier said than done. After six attempts at one orb I was just left furious.
I went off to clear the rest of the dungeon. Orbs were quite literally everywhere and all just out of furious clicking reach. I ignored them for a while and just went back to kill Asad, fed up of being ported back to the start for every failed attempt. I know you can use the wind tunnels to get you back to certain points but after 20 minutes of trying on different ones, any run at all is too far away.
With Asad dead I took the wind tunnel back to the start and flexed out, ready for another go at the ones near the start. I tried zoomed in, top down, far out… All these helpful tips seemed like the most unhelpful things ever written. I just went back to a normal camera and started throwing myself off the ledge, hoping for the best and pummelling my track pad.
The achievement popped up! AwwwwwwYiiiiiissss! I could finally leave this shitting cloudy hell hole (it had lost its allure after all that time spent spinning around mid air)

I did Halls, Deadmines and Shadowfang before heading to Throne of the Tides. I used feign death more times in here than I’ve used in a whole raid night. Old Faithful took some working out as I thought that you needed to kill the three adds to get her out of the phase where she is shielded. This resulted in what can only be described as a Benny Hill sketch with me running around trying to avoid her hoping that more adds would spawn. Three attempts later she had blown to bits one of her Naga witches and I was off for the last boss.
This one really showed how little I had paid attention to it. Keeping behemoth alive until you get the buff. I just killed everything and then was left twiddling my thumbs when no others came out. I got the buff but had to let the dude in the middle with the water ocd die to reset it. I then let the add live but it killed ocd dude. Once again I was perusing wowhead to see how to do it. Bandages was one option. Going BM for sprit mend was another. I had Raidwiper 1.0 with me so a quick respec and I was away. It was a face roll when you actually knew what you were doing. Sprit mend kept ocd dude up and I picked off the other adds around him. I got the buff and ‘boom’ everything dead. Ocd dude was happy again and I got my achievement.

I did also go to Stonecore. A tedious dungeon. All I needed in there was the 60 disciples to be killed in 10 seconds while the encounter is active. I’m not going to lie, I’d been here before and killed all the ones in front before I’d pulled the boss and lost it. So this time I pulled and then waited. As I was trying not to get sucked into the gravity wells I somehow lost my mind and didn’t kill anything. A few died to the wells which meant the timer was started and I just kept kiting what was left. Once the floor was completely covered in shit and I realised the error of my ways I was so annoyed that I just killed her and hearthstoned out in true stroppy teenager style.

Sulking on a roof in Stormwind I had a look through what was left in my achievements. There wasn’t much. I did still have a few loose ends to get through and the whole of Zul’aman to do but the list was a damn sight shorter than when I started! (Even if my stress levels were higher)

We did some HC dungeons and this happened

We didn’t have enough people to raid so we got a group of five together and went for HC dungeons to snag the last bits of gear we needed.
Fenrir offered to tank.
“You’re going to tank?”
“Have some faith!”
“That’s great! You can tank Bladefist!”
“Hold on. I said have faith. Don’t expect a miracle”

This meant that Rawls could go dps. This ‘life choice’ was ultimately his undoing as we went through the dungeons.
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I’d accidentally managed to queue us on normals to begin with and it was only made apparent when we pulled to groups and a bunch of flowers and no one died.
“Ella you’ve put it on Normal!”
“I was wondering why they weren’t hitting for much”
“We have to wait 10 minutes until we can queue again…”
With nothing to do but carry on we got to the point where you can scramble up the cliff face if you jump in the right spot. A millimeter out either side and you’re just left jumping at the rocks. Blunnerz made it up seemingly on the first try.
“Blunnerz can’t you leap of faith us up?”
“It’s a two minute cooldown!”
As I have failed at every attempt to get up this cliff I reminded them off the hill just a few feet down that you can just walk up.
“Guys! If we just kill this one mob you can just run up the hill”
Fenrir was off and pulled everything around him.
We strolled up the hill and went behind the first boss.
“Did we do all of that to miss two mobs? ”
“Yes”
“Ok then”
I was on a mission to kill all the flowers we could so I could ‘skin’ them for herbs. Every time I was lagging behind the group people knew what I was up to. I’d sneakily multi shoot them near other mobs so that they had to be killed.
As we made our way around there was an abundance of flowers.
“Can we kill these?” I asked. Standing there looking at them.
“No.” Blunnerz said.
I still stood there.
“Aw I can’t pull you…” he said as Fenrir charged out and ran over them all.
“Yay!”

The spider cave was a necessary evil apparently.  We got the spider to come down quickly enough but there was so much crap everywhere that it was hard finding the Orc before it found the spider.
“I’m being punched by an Orc!” I yelled.
“I’m so glad I have tidy plates” Fenrir mused “I can’t see anything in here so you’d be surrounded in Orcs if it wasn’t on”

On the last boss I took forever loading in.
“Run over the flowers!” Was yelled over ts.
“I’ve only just got in hang on!”
“We’re here trying to save Stormwind and you’ve only just arrived?!” Fenrir said as the flowers we missed took aim at him.

 

Skyreach was next.
“I hate this place! In fact I hate this whole zone!” I said with venom as there was much groaning about the dungeon we had been given.
It was this dungeon where we spectacularly started to fall apart.
“Do you like the bird boss?” Rawls asked.
“Err which one?” Both Fenrir and Blunnerz asked.
“The one with quills. Do you know what your doing on that?”
“To be honest I just wing it…” Fenrir laughed at his own joke “wing it!”
“And there’s the wind boss…” Blunnerz added.
“The wind boss. Much like the lift boss in ICC” I added, remembering a fateful time in there.
“And there was a lift boss in Siege” Blunnerz reminded us. This ‘boss’ Had claimed many lives…
We made our way around. On the boss with the wind spirals I somehow managed to block myself in as I cut the podium completely in half while kiting the pools of yellow goo around the outside. The boss was down before I panicked and I was left laughing hysterically over ts.

The wind boss was very aggravating. More so for Rawls who had manage to roll quickly to the top and then found himself half way round again after being pulled back by Blunnerz. I also managed to die at the top of the stairs due to being stood in shit I couldn’t see. With that and Fenrir falling off the platform with the quills bird, it was going well.

On the last boss the random pally we had with us had the laser thing following him and he managed to make a circle of crap around me. Blunnerz decided that it was the perfect time to leap of faith the pally into the circle so he was trapped.

After the last boss was down, Fenrir said to jump down. I questioned it as it was quite high up.
“You have a buff, jump” He said.
“Are you sure?” I questioned, there didn’t seem to be a buff. I teetered off the edge and dropped. I landed in a messy and very dead heap at their feet.
“OH” Fenrir said as everyone started laughing.
“Yeah, Now I have the buff!”

 

Shadowmoon Burial Grounds was our last one. We ended up with a rogue who announced his woes of the last group he was in to us.
“The tank left after a wipe. The healer sucked so he left and then the dps left too. Please don’t be like the last group!”
“Cant promise soz” Blunnerz replied. It did seem to subdue any fears that the rogue may have had as we went onwards to the bosses.

The first boss with the crystal things that get dropped on the floor was ‘intense’. instead of one crystal coming down to do the aoe stuff we had two at a time, which meant that we were rapidly running out of room. There were at least 12 of them by the time the thing died. A constant stream of ‘move the boss’ was going out over ts as we tried to negotiate the crystals and not run over the runes at the edge. The rogue died due to not standing on the white runes during the eclipse phase but didn’t seem to mind, I guess he was just happy to be in a group that wasn’t going to leave.

It was time to announce that my bow was yellow, to which I got the stream of replies stating that my weapon is always broken. I also ran over a crate on the way into the cavern we were heading to.
“I ran over something! Add!”
“You know your winning at the game when you can pull and add out of thin air” Fenrir joked.

After the second boss I got a little kamikaze and opened up with Barrage as I was wanting to get on.
“What the… Where did all of these come from?”
“Barrage! I wanted to get a move on! Suck it up and lets go!”
I died almost instantly, luckily you spawn right inside the room when you release so the run back is, well, not a run at all. As we got through I’d taken enough of a beating for my bow to go red.
“My bow is broken!”
” Oh my god… Ella!”
“It’s ok! I’ve got my loom!”
Equipping that we carried on. It’s at this point that I informed everyone of why I had my loom taking up valuable bag space.
“You know that dungeon in ICC where you have to run away from the Lich King?”
“Oh yeah”
“Well I was doing that and my bow broke, so all I could do was send my pet in and hit the mobs with my stave. After that I was so worried about being seen as an idiot, I carried seven bows with me so I always had something else to equip…”
“Seven!?”
“Oh dear…” Rawls said, as the others were laughing.”

 

Ding!

Now I did have a bunch of screen shots of the start of the expansion. My computer didn’t think I’d want these happy wow memories and ate them. Some can be recreated, but on the whole, everything was a once in a lifetime moment. Sad times. The only thing to have survived are a few photos I took on my phone to share with my WhatsApp group 😦

The launch itself was hype overload. People were waiting at 8:30pm GMT and as the hours ticked by mine and more people were turning up. Everyone was waiting to accept the quest from Kadgar and then get to the first quests on the other side. It was largely the longest wait I’ve ever had even if I was only a few hours.

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8:30 and people waiting

There was a rather large amount of guild banners that had been put down around Kadgar as the time got closer, forcing people to contemplate making a target and accept quest macro as they couldn’t see anything. Someone then complained about the banners and there was a moment of amusement that a lot of them were Jester banners.

There was the lag. Oh my god the lag… nipping back to shrine for something fifteen minutes before release and then coming back to nothing. The constant asking on ts of ‘am I still online?’ As we weren’t ever quite sure if it was us or the servers that were giving up. The ten seconds it took for everything to load… I’m pretty sure you get the idea.

Once we were through though. On the whole it was ‘wow’.
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The first bit by the portal I wasn’t totally enamored by. The whole ‘kill loads of mobs until you find something’ really doesn’t float my boat. I also don’t read quest text if I don’t have to so I had no real idea of what was going on.
It did open up into more exciting things and areas as we went through though.
The whole Bladefist 100 arena was slightly terrifying to begin with but once the initial ‘wait, what?!’ As the mobs started to enter you realised it wasn’t so bad. Picking them off as they were beating each other over the head meant that it was plain sailing.

The luster of the initial starting point soon began to tarnish. We all knew that a few quests in our Garrisons were waiting for us. Having what seemed like the whole of the realm in one spot was a little taxing though. The whole targeting issue cropped up again and the trees needed didn’t respawn quick enough for everyone to be able to get them in good time.

I was in a group and one of our number had wandered off like a naughty toddler. The excited chirps over ts of ‘I found an elite!’ Had us dropping our tasks and run over to see what this new deadly enemy was capable of.
It was a tree.
The health pool was something to be admired as we were now the tiny lvl 90’s and not the big lvl 90’s we once were. Things like this needed to be poked to see what they would do to us but only poked from a distance and with a very long stick.

Then the almighty server crash of 2014 started. Everyone being booted off, not being able to get into your Garrison and if you did, it was full of random people!

To cut a very long story short. It resulted in the online server size being halved so that we had to queue to get online in the next few days after the launch.

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To get to the above point I have never wanted to punch my screen so much.
Everyone has those zones that they really don’t like for whatever reason, mine are purely based on how much I hated the leveling experience there.
So for me my list of places would be on a 1=HATE – 5=LOVE go something like this:
Shadowmoon Valley: Shiny! But no real nostalgia about being there 4
Gorgrond: The next zone so things were different. PvP made a comeback, found some nice hordies 3
Talador: Witnessed my first npc die. Got ganked. Took an age to get out of here 2
Spires of Arak: So promising from the start, outcast bird men etc. Then you ran around in the dark. So many mobs in burrows. Only redeeming feature was the hordies seemed to be confused as I was and we had to emote help to each other. Took a god damn age to get out of this shit pit. No wonder it was blown off the Outland map 1
Nagrand: Retro! Lots of open space inhabited by neutral mobs so you didn’t have to stick to paths. Got ganked a bit but so much space you didn’t need to run into the Horde too much. Bad bit was the quests were a million miles away from each other. 5

I don’t think I can every express how much I hate Spires. The worst but was spending an hour on a bonus objective and not being able to find the last mob I needed to kill. I ended up roaming around with a Troll Druid using emotes to try and figure out where we should be going. Having them jump up and down beside a burrow as I tried to keep up with them and then running in to find this shitty mob we must have gone past 20 times as we lapped the compound.
Then there were the goblins. Pinchwhistle Point (or whatever the hell it was called) where a Horde was killing the mobs EVERYONE needed, Alliance and Horde, just because they were lvl 100 and ‘could’ was totally frustrating.

Once I dinged in Nagrand though, I was out of there. Apart from witnessing one major npc die while a Space Goat and Orc worked together to kill another Orc. I have no idea what the hell is happening. All I know is that I’m lvl 100 and I have a Garrison. (Which by now I can get into whenever I like)

The aim then changed from getting my sorry ass to 100 to gearing up. This meant dungeons *yay*
I’ve been in five. The first one took nearly an hour to get into. I’ve had the mine one, the train one, the bird one, the ghost one and the garden one. The majority of the names escape me as by the time the queue had popped I’d forgotten I was even queued.
It is in a strange way nice to be wiping again. It’s not nice however to find that there’s a freshly dinged tank giving out the instructions after they have announced that they have never been in the dungeon before.
On the train one we wiped because I’d managed to pull the room (oopsy) Luckily I was so far back everyone assumed that the tank had taunted everything, not that I’d lost my mind and used Barrage due to a brain fart moment with my keybinds. We picked ourselves up and started again. I used the right buttons and we were on the cannon boss. Hiding behind a pillar while targeted I survived and then went running off to the front of the train. I hid behind another pillar, turned around and realised I was all alone apart from the very angry mobs who wanted me dead. The tank had some gentle persuasion to go to the front and died in a hail of bullets. The healer left. Ok… Self proclaimed noob healer joined. We tried again and died again. This time the tank left and then the dps who was ‘instructing us’ decided that none of us were worth the effort and then left. We got replacements, this time a fresh tank. The tank asked what the tactics were and there was silence. I looked at the party grid, who the hell was the leader? Oh bugger, it was me. Four people were all waiting for me to tell them what to do as they incorrectly assumed that I knew what I was doing.
“Stand behind things so you don’t get hit by bullets”
“Use the ammo from mobs when they are killed to hit the boss in the cannon”
“Get to the front pillar asap”
This is all I knew but they seemed happy with it. And bizarrely enough, we made it. All the way through. I had zero clue what I was doing on the last boss much like everyone else and we manage to work it out. Although it was all over very quickly, the train crash at the end was a bit of an anti-climax but I guess they had to stop the dungeon some how or else we would still be on that god damn train!

The bird one I was told to deal with the adds. ‘ok’ I said. I’d never been in here before and I hadn’t a clue what adds they were going on about. it soon became apparent though and it didn’t take a million brain cells to work out I needed to kill the shiny birds before they got to me/anyone else.

the ghost one, the end boss was interesting! Actually had to discuss what ghost/skeleton we were going to be killing. Tank did fail a bit with allowing the cleave to hit right on top of where we were trying to squeeze through the gap. one dps helpfully suggested that we kill the middle ‘skeleton’… there were six of them… “Define ‘middle one’!?”

On a side note: The sad thing has been in the HC dungeons. After doing the proving grounds again to silver so I could ‘prove’ I was capable of killing things in there (which was totally underwhelming, not least for the fact you were still at the Temple of the White Tiger in Pandaland and not facing a more apt enemy) you get the same old obnoxious people in there that you didn’t really encounter in the normals. HC apparently means for some people ‘huge cock’ and that’s how they feel they should behave. Doesn’t matter if you were just with that person in a normal and then by a bizarre twist of fate you’re with them again in a HC. All that ‘we can do this guys!’ niceness has gone and suddenly they have transformed into this Ogre who will berate you at every oppertunity and believe they are the King/Queen of tactics etc… a HUGE COCK.

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I did get distracted by things, which may explain why it took me so long to level (compared to a guild mate who did it in 8 hours) and I was spend a fair amount of time at my Garrison making sure my dailies and work orders were completed on time. I explored places I shouldn’t have been at that time like the lvl 100 crystal quest areas. Most of it was to find the flight points to make it easier, a bit of it was to have a crack at the elites and see if I could kill them. Pro tip: don’t use Barrage.

I found treasure galore. Most of it was found using a good old fashioned print out marked with highlighters. One of them was a bit unexpected but I wanted the pet (which is so cute but then I’d forgotten to get it out after a day off having it)
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The lasers hurt. You get slowed down. Nightmare if you just hurtle in (which I did) the pet is adorable though.
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Anyway. After getting to Nagrand via five or six of the potions to boost your xp there was a quest right near the Alliance stronghold which I could not find for the life of me. I say I couldn’t find it, I could find the npc who gave the quest but the little yellow exclamation mark on my map did not translate to one above this space goats head. I’d done every quest possible and I still was two bars away from 100. I’d found treasure that I couldn’t reach. So dungeons it was. I ran a bunch hoping that the group would stick together so I wouldn’t be faced with another 45 minute queue. Eventually after doing Grimrail about four times over I did ding.
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Yaaaay. More grinding! This time for gear… boooooo

Well. This happened…

So we did a raid with a bunch of people. Utilising a lock on Thok we went for another loom run.

Unfortunately we may have all had WoD-itus and were not concentrating to our fullest.

We managed a first pull on Thok that interrupted my eating by 1 second before I got my food buff. Scrambling into position we took up our ‘Jester formation’
“Ranged with me, stack on the green triangle. Healers with Blunnerz on blue…” I started to list off the basic formation.
“And all the cool kids with me” Fenrir added. Taking up his position of the King of melee.

With the first set of fixates, Blunnerz was throwing feathers around for people. I, for one, have this amazing ability to miss them when I need them and get them when I don’t. How on earth however, he thought anyone was going to get this one, I don’t know!
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We got the second cage open when someone avoided the fixate and this caused Thok to eat Blunnerz.
“Hey!” He blurted. One down, and the rest of us soon followed.
“Well I just got punched in the head by the add” I mused as it was decided that it was Rawls who we needed to blame due to his 8 second pull timer.
“This isn’t lfr…” he said.
“If it was you would blame the healers” Blunnerz added.
“Actually” I started to say as we all grouped up again and started eating and refreshing flasks “if it was lfr you would be blaming anyone apart from yourself”

Setting up to go again, Rawls put a ten second timer. We went into the first blood frenzy just before it started to hurt and scrambled up and down the corridor and main room as we played piggy in the middle with Thok. Once he had gobbled up the released add we stacked on his foot.
At nineteen stacks we moved together to force him into blood frenzy. Nothing happened. 23 stacks…
“Why isn’t it doing it!” Blunnerz demanded. People started to die. 28 stacks…
“There’s enough people…?” Rawls was starting to get concerned with what was going on. 32 stacks and four people were dead.

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“We will just have to keep going…” Blunnerz decided. The rest of us either spammed buttons to try and kill it or sat there glued to the screen saying out loud each stack as it appeared. It was like listening to kids calling out numbers as a teacher pointed to them on a whiteboard.
39
40
41
42
43…

“This is crazy!”
“His energy bar is just constantly full”
“Go melee!”
“I’ll taunt in three” Rawls said. Aribiter died just as Rawls taunted of him.
“Any externals?!?”

This kept on going.
“All I can do is holy nova” Blunnerz said as the stacks still crept up.

Then. This happened….

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92 stacks! After bugging out he finally died. I’d already killed him once so my only hope lay on a bonus roll for my longed for neck aaannnd… Nothing. God damn it!

Every pull was messy. We sort of just blundered into them, mishap after mishap. It was also the funniest raid in a long time. We had started off badly and never seemed to recover.

Seigecrafter wasn’t as bad as it could have been. The trash almost went down in one go. As I was on my Hunter I was standard belt ‘fodder’ taking up my position to go in by the pipe.
Fenrir was on the even belt numbers. Last time hadn’t gone to well for my belt partners and I was like a ‘bad luck’ curse as my first partner died and then when Fenrir took up the charge, he died on there as well.
This time however, we were going like clockwork. Belt after belt was brought to its knees. On my last belt I actually managed to disengage into the pipe that takes me down and landed right in front of a whole swathe of laser burn on the floor.
“I’m off” I said so that Fenrir knew that he needed to get ready “Err. Am I trapped?”
A second later I was snatched from where I stood and watched my health momentarily plummet as Blunnerz used leap of faith on me and dragged my through the laser burn. I did notice that I wasn’t quite trapped but what’s a long run around the shit on the floor compared to someone being able to pull a dps into fire?
Electromagnet was next and started up in earnest. With everyone being swooshed around I activated my buff. “Fox!” I yelled over the chattering. And then I died just about at the same tune as the buff wore off.
We did kill it, not long after in fact. And we carried on to Paragons.

Now I was on Lilouann to preserve my lock out on Garrosh. After the patch I’ve become less inclined to heal with her as I don’t find it as enjoyable any more and have been dabbling in the dps side of things. But here we were ready to kill this thing/many things.

On the way in to Paragons we had pulled every single pack of mobs in one go. There was swirly shit everywhere people were dying constantly.
It was able to be compared to a stampede of excited kids on the last day off school, at the final bell. Rushing through, forgetting things, going back, pushing through again past the school bullies who inevitably knocked you back against the lockers… a crazy mess.
Finally in the room, once it was clear we started in earnest.
“I don’t know the order” Aribiter said as he was being pummeled from all angles.
“I’ll take Ri’Kal you take everything else” Rawls added.

I don’t know what was going on with my screen but the caustic amber would land, I’d move out of it and as I stood on the edge of the puddle it would appear and disappear. I had no idea if I moved to the right slightly, the amber works be there or not. When the Kunchong appeared next to me I had no choice but to risk it.
Bugger.
It was in fact there, I had to literally be in the middle of it for it to be visible. I got right to the opposite edge and flopped face down into it.
“Tits” was all I could mutter. My Anhk was available so I hesitated. Getting my fingers into position to make a run for it over the last few pixels of the puddle. Ressing I then flopped over right out side the puddle.
“Oh for Christ’s sake”
“Did you res and die?” Blunnerz asked.
“Yes.”
I resigned myself to watching them battle through.
It was over a lot quicker than I thought. Being a healer I was only really looking at the raid grid and my immediate vicinity. I hadn’t realised how many bugs we had gone through by the time I’d keeled over. There was only two left and they were going down fast.
“There’s an unprotected Kunchong next to me…?” I may have not been seeing it right and there was actually a shell over it but the sight of it being so close was making me jittery.
Once they were dead and we recovered it was on to the next room. This one I was not looking forward to…

You would have been forgiven to think that after all the mistakes and this being the last boss we would have got ourselves together.
But no. We were going to finish as we started it seemed.
We ninja pulled, again. This lead to much screaming and people running for the exits. The gates went up and there was nothing to be done apart from suck it up and make the most of it.
We stacked up, but not before a weapon had landed in the worst place.
Gio was going to hesitantly do the Engineer. He was on his lowly Hunter to get a bow from it and didn’t have much optimism about it all.
His fears were right as when the weapon landed, it killed him instantly.
“Gio, engineer…” Blunnerz said as we battled the adds.
“I’m dead”
“He’s dead”
Cue a scramble of people going across to kill it before it released the fiery wheel of doom.
We ressed him and he took care of the next couple that came along. We hadn’t sorted out the groups however so ‘everyone LEFT’ was the default order for the transition phase.
We landed in Temple of the Jade Serpent. They were half way to Garrosh before I loaded in and I mentioned I was not in possession of the damage reduction buff.
“There’s a bubble here” Blunnerz said. As I was making my way over to it he decided to use leap of faith to pull me though it. Just as the cleave came down killing us both instantly.
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It was a wipe.

Our second attempt was a lot more organised. No ninja pulling and pretty much everyone was left alive. Hairy moment when both Blunnerz and I were mind controlled but it was quickly dealt with.
We got through rather easily. Possibly due to having Mack on his warlock! Nevertheless, we were there to get looms and looms we got.
Along with many laughs.