Category Archives: Guild

05.20.17
by

It’s been a while…

So, I took some time out to concentrate on my uni work and just recently got back in the saddle (literally, as I finally just got flying!).

While I did not miss solo questing, I did miss the shenanigans to be had in groups. Be it world quests, dungeons and raids.

Recently I have been just uploading to the twitter page the interesting/funny things that have been going on. Many a time over discord there will be the sounds of “She’s tweeting rather than killing the boss…” but in all fairness, when things are so funny that I can’t see what I’m doing due to tears of laughter… I may as well tweet…

 

This place gives me nightmares. Particularly nightmares of being at the last boss with someone who doesn’t know how to operate a ball of light.

We did this with a keystone and holy hell, I’ve never had so much fun dying.

Vault of the Wardens contains a lift boss. Lift bosses are, as everyone knows, the hardest bosses in the whole of WoW. To get an idea, Gul’dan is as frightening and mean as a wet leaf in comparison. As soon as you see a moving platform, you know that death is imminent for at least one of your team.

Sorry Gul’dan…

Now, in this particular instance there were four guildies and one pug, a pretty decent Rogue (didn’t remember to jot down his name but he was such a good sport he should be given some sort of ‘I survived a KLR Keystone Dungeon’ achievement). We were doing a level 10 to ensure we got best loot from our chests at the end of the week and it just so happened to be for this dungeon.
We cut a path through the first part of the dungeon and things were dropping like flies. As we came towards the lift boss, I was the slowest due to the Aspect of the Cheetah being nerfed so I did my 180 disengage to give myself a speed boost.
This was all fine and dandy but I decided that it wouldn’t be in my best interests to stop at the edge of the lift with everyone else, oh no. I decided to just keep running and sailed past them all into the hole.
As there were screams over Discord (due to the fact if I couldn’t grab back a shred of dignity with a perfectly timed disengage before landing, I just lost us some time) I saw a level of the floor go past me and panicked. Disengaged into the wall and fell down another two floors…

Not only did I fuck up big time. I also killed the Rogue. Who decide upon seeing me throw myself down the hole thought the lift must be coming up and jumped in after me. Realising too late that he was taking the fast lane to sure death right at the bottom.
Releasing and running back, I got there before the lift had even made its way back up to the top. I was in hysterics. I couldn’t stop laughing. It was probably due to the heart stopping stress of what I had done only 10 seconds earlier.

As we actually got onto the lift and made it down, we made a tactical error of tanking the boss in the middle of the room, by the massive hole in the middle. My DPS was abysmal. with tear filled eyes I couldn’t see anything of what was going on. I could vaguely make out the purple swirly line to face but what the fuck I was supposed to be hitting? Not a chance.
Through this as well, our healer also met his maker (is that a tree?) by being drop kicked into the hole of doom.
The lift boss had eaten three people now…
The healer was dead, the tank got flattened and the boss (the real one) had 5 or 6% left on it. After asking for a tissue to try and get some sense of vision back Raidwiper had tank mode engaged and slowly but surely we managed to kill the boss. I think three of us survived, I managed to for sure but it might only have been one other person with me…

Skipping along to the dude who seems to have taken the wrong turn out of Molten Core and ended up in the Vault… For some reason, rather than jumping off the ledge to get to the platform asap, one of my co-DPS decided to take a leisurely stroll down the stairs.

“Why the fuck are you taking the stairs?”
“I don’t know!”
“Get your ass down here!”

On the way up, it was a little different…

“Now you can walk up the stairs…”

The giant chess board kinda boss. You know, Durumu mark II was another downfall.
I don’t particularly like this boss, I think it might be something to do with the Vietnam flashbacks from Throne of Thunder and that fucking maze that makes me dislikehate this boss. We didn’t manage to get it down before that stupid light beam phase so Paksenarrion toddled off to turn the pillars around. I was quietly minding my own business and keeping out of trouble in a corner when suddenly I was dead on the floor. “What the fuck! Why am I dead!” I’d dogged all the shit balls flying out everywhere and yet here I was, a time penalty on the floor. It dawned on me, there was a beam of light traveling right through where I was stood. I checked my combat log. Yup, it was the equivalent of a magnifying glass on an ant.
“You hit me with the beam… for fuck sake”

The final boss. Never have more screams been heard than when a bunch of adults don’t see where the gap in the advancing green army of doom is. Just running at the wall because we literally had no clue where the gap was.
Never has more frantic noises been uttered than when five adults start hyperventilating the words “Where is she!!!?!”.
Never has more sage advice come from anyone else than the person who utters “The green things are bad, don’t get hit by the green things…”
This is the boss where you can start running around like a headless chicken and screaming and no one will care because even if they are not externally projecting it, you know they are doing it on the inside. So many things can go wrong yet your so close to getting your chests.
I literally do not know how we managed it but we got three in the end. Brute force at some points I think.
Yet, out of ALL the bosses, the fucking lift killed more people…

 

I think I had a level 12 keystone for Eye of Azshara. May have been level 11 but I was higher than the Vault of the Wardens one we just did.
We decided to go for it as it is a fairly straightforward dungeon. HA. WHATEVER.

So the first boss, the Naga bastard who keeps throwing spears around. I got targeted and as I was hiding behind an add, the fucking thing dies. luckily, it got absorbed. I got targeted again, except this time we had an add stunned next to the cliff. I got impaled just as I got to it… my corpse fell through it as I flopped down face first with a spear bigger than I was poking out of my back.

Then as we were making our way around to the next one (The one who plays ‘the floor is lava’ but with water) when I was trying to make it through the water on my trusty steed so I didn’t pull the add at the side when I got hit by lightning and knew I was in trouble.

“oh fuck”
“Whats going on? Why are you dying!?!”
“I’ve been hit by lightning. SHIT!”

I died and released, and ran back, this time on my Water Strider. Jumping off the same rock that I had been told to jump off before, I started out into the water and got electrocuted again…

“Why are you dying again!?!”
“I keep getting electrcuted!”
“The lightning is bad! That’s the last boss! Why are you running at the last boss?!?”
“I’m trying not to pull the add…”
“OMG. Meet her half way and go get her and I’ll pull…”
“You released! Whhhyyyyy did you release!?!”

I did eventually make it past the water but I did pull the add and died there. So I had four deaths to my name and we were rapidly running out of time.

Ah, you can actually make that five as I died to the ‘floor is lava’ boss as I got pelted with that purple vomit stuff that you blast out and knocked into the water before being electrocuted in there as well… FML.

On the snake head boss (you know, Megaera 2.0) we pulled too much trash, people kited shite over others and we got two seagulls. It was a clusterfuck. The tank died but so did the boss due to the sheer output from two main raiders. We waddled on to the next boss, the dude with the balls and shit all over the floor.

We made a boo boo however when the tank had a Captain America moment and pulled a snail from outside the instance. Suddenly, we weren’t all that worried about the boss and more concerned with being eaten alive by a very fresh escargot.
(These dungeons seem to have a theme of recycled stuff from Throne of Thunder…)

Moving on past the great snail massacre of 2017 we came back to the last boss.


Fun fact! It has only just dawned on me that the last boss is actually in the middle of all the other bosses. Because we run around so much I thought it was miles away from the entrance… It didn’t even dawn on me when his entourage kept annihilating me when I was trying desperately to make it over to the other bosses… but considering I can get lost in a box, what did you expect…?

We caused chaos with the last boss. We spread out all over the place, dispelling was luck of the draw depending on if you were close enough, all the swirlies and the waves had us running around. I had the Monk come over to me when he had a circle around him and my raiding instinct went “Nope!” so I disengaged and skipped off, leaving him yo get cosy with the healer, who promptly died when the swirly went boom. We wiped and raced off to try and organise ourselves like the cool calm and collected raiders we were. LOL yeah right… There was more screaming, running around, not knowing the difference from our left and right.
We just finished the boss in time and we stood there looking for our chests.

“Where the fuck are the chests?”
“Oh my fuck, we haven’t killed enough!”
“Runnnnn! Quickly pull anything!!!!!!!!”

We literally ran into anything we could find and started killing them, anyone who could pull pulled, Raidwiper was allowed to growl at things so I could pick off the crabs I had found until we managed to kill enough to complete.

Jogging back, there were our shiny chests. Funnily enough, we haven’t classed that dungeon as easy anymore…

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02.03.16
by

Redeeming ourselves

We were at it again! This time, we were trying to better the attempt from last Tuesday where we didn’t kill any bosses.

We had a fresh run, going from Hellfire Assault. After the pull on the first boss, I realised that I had the wrong talent on, Powershot instead of Barrage. This wasn’t really a problem on Iron Reaver but as I was running towards Kormrok with the rest of the group, my attempts to switch it was scuppered by them always being in combat or Powershot was on cooldown.
“Aww, I can’t switch my talent as its on cooldown” I moaned
“Thats only 45 seconds to wait…” Moose replied.
I sat there watching my countdown tick through and hovered my cursor over the barrage talent. Oblivious to what was going on around me. The timer hit zero and I clicked barrage eagerly.
“Urgh! And now I’m in combat!”
This carried on all the way through to Kormrok…

I also died on the trash down the stairs. There I was, busily providing annoying knockbacks and then I died. Laughing over TS and exclaiming “what the fuck!?” I released.
“Did you die?” Ketod asked.
“Yes”
“Oh lol”
“Who did you pay?” I questioned.
“No one! Cost me too much last raid…” Ketod replied with a sigh.
“Who won last time?” Insarius asked.
“Me!” Blackdaliha said, pleased.
“Oh nice!”
“What do you mean nice!?!” I asked. “I died!”

We killed Kormrok and right at the last moment there was a wobbly bit where we almost had a taunt issue.
“Next time taunt off me on hand” Oz said to Hellsreaper.
“Sorry, I was having trouble with my own hand to notice yours” he replied.
“Having trouble with your hand…” I added, not going to let this one pass up.
“That sounds weird…” Evil said.
“Especially when we’re exploding in them!” Jolly added.
“That is never going to get old….”

They ran off up the stairs and I was busy jotting down some notes. I ended up miles behind them all and ran to catch them up, I ran past the huge mob by the stairs.
“Are we pulling the big guy?” I asked.
“What big guy?” Evil asked, sounding worried.
“The one that shes just run past…” Insarius said.
“I could bring a friend to the party” I joked as I came to the door of the council room.
“Did you?” Jolly asked, really sounding worried.
“Noooo… I came to this party alone.”
“Is your friend big, black and wobbly?” Insarius added.
“How did you know what my dildo looked like?!” I exclaimed.
There was hearty laughter over TS as that last comment sunk in.
“I might not put that on the internet” I added. (Alas, here I am doing it!)

Later on in the evening the Lords of the Internet didn’t seem to be with us and the people of Denmark apparently hadn’t prayed enough/paid their collective Internet bills as all of them got dc-ed at the same time on our Archimonde kill.
“Did everyone from Denmark just dc?”
“Yep”
There were sighs all round. Once they had managed to log back in there was a brief announcement…
“Welcome to Denmark!”

With the majority of the Danes dead there was a call for hero.
“Gabriel? Microfynk? Danue?”
“I’m very dead” Danue quipped.

Roll on a couple of days and we were back again. Jolly was at the helm, steering the good-ship clusterfuck through upper.
We were on trash before Soc.
“Why does barrage have such a long cooldown?” I moaned.
“I’d say thank fuck it does!” Jolly interjected, possibly speaking for the entire team.
At that point there was a sly ninja pull as Danue may have gotten over excited over the adds.
“Oops! Sorry!”
“Was that a mage?!”
“Yes that was me, sorry!” she replied, in true ‘Danue’ style.

We had three ranged until we decided to get Baba to relog onto Ketod and suck it up with three healers.
It was like feeding time at the zoo. Shit was everywhere but we killed it. Wasn’t clean by a long shot and we had to throw fake tanks at the boss (Dks, that’s you)

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We got Xelianna in who was confused as to what we were doing.
“Were on Tyrant” Moose advised as we waited for his arrival.
“I’m at Mannoroth” he announced.
“Did you take the wrong portal?” Jolly asked.
“I must have done…”
He went back to the beginning and tried again.
“Mannoroth is still up?”
“We’re at Tyrant”
“What portal is that?”
“The other one to the one you keep taking…” Jolly said. The laughter was slowly starting to ripple out over ts.
“Oh. I kept going up there as I thought you were on Archimonde and I couldn’t work out how mannoroth was still up!”

While clearing out Tyrants room, I’d had a complete brain fart when Jolly asked for cc’s. I snuck in and sent a beautiful trap towards a mob. I watched, totally confused as nothing happened except a white circle appear under some hooves.
“Fuck. That was the wrong trap!” I managed to say in-between fits of laughter.
This was also following trying to stun a ghost, only to find that I had somehow tried to missdirect.
“My keybinds are fucked!” I panicked as I tried to see where everything was.
I’d completely forgotten that as Francis had taken my char through challenge modes, he had caused the group immense fun as he was popping deterrence instead of stampede or feigning death instead of stunning an add. We have this thing. He complains about my keybinds, moves them. I forget until I’m mid fight and don’t realise until I’ve pressed to do something extravagant and find myself placing a trap at my feet, or something equally useless.

One thing that does happen a lot is I get bubbled. I’m ‘made a princess’. Opala gave me the macro to get rid of it. I created it and then had to work out where to put it.
“I’ll get rid of tranquilising shot. I never use that anyway…” I muttered. “That’s a lie, I used it on Beastlord.”
Job done, my anti bubble was now on 9. I showed them a screen shot of the macro itself.
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Named FU KETOD in honour of the one who started it, followed by a verbal insult that’s bound to get me into trouble in dungeons and lfr….

01.19.16
by

4th birthday!

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday Royal Jesters,
Happy birthday to you!

It was the guilds forth birthday earlier on in the week and to mark the occasion there were festivities to bring everyone together. There was a transmog competition, a quiz and a pvp knock out tournament.
RT2 had hoped that we could start an hour earlier on Sunday and try mythic Hellfire Assault but alas, seeing as most of us are grownups with responsibilities like children, who don’t want to go to bed early so mummy and daddy can play wow, we were destined to be short on numbers.
So on that note we decided to get to Highmaul. With that it meant that a few of us could get the achievement for doing certain bosses on HC and who doesn’t like achievement points?

We made our way over and upon landing it was apparent that we had forgotten in an instant that we could fly. The last time we were over here we had to run to the raid, dodging horde and mobs alike. If someone got caught then it was tough-tits and you left them. No one wanted to spend 10 minutes ressing to only be killed again. Danue pointed out that our mounts wings actually worked and we took to the skies.
Most of us were gathered up outside when Jolly gave out a ‘call to arms’ as he was being attacked at the Goblin flight path. Two Hordies were attacking him and as we coordinated or efforts and flew back to him, he told us they had buggered off.
“It took so long for them to kill me they gave up and left” he laughed.
“Autobots, stand down” Opala added.

We went back again. And this time got in.
Old habits took over and we headed up to Bladefist.
“Don’t forget the tigers in this” I started… “and he’s going to do chain hurl as well, where the closest five will be thrown into the stands”
“I’m not sure he’s going to last that long…” Deko chimed in.
He lasted long enough for us to kill him before he needed to be dragged into a fire pillar. My marking of them had gone to waste. /cry

I lead the charge onto the next boss but was apparently going the wrong way. Upon doubling back on myself I ensued that I brought friends with me. I say friends in the loosest possible terms as they seemed to be quite angry to see me.
Once dealt with, we went the correct way and had Insaria cloak us to get past a group of mobs. It was going well until Alune was snatched out by a chain and we all started running around in circles, not sure if we should help and leave the cloaking circle or try and stay hidden.
There was a conversation about two hunters that I had no idea who they were going on about but thought I’d throw my two cents in.
“Remember those two hunters? Those girls, they were good…”
“Two hunters, one pet?” was my input.
“Yeah, those as well”

We got to Twins and upon entering the room it was decided that we should do it like lfr and pull the room.
We actually put markers down again to use. This time they lasted long enough to use Quake.
“Don’t get hit by fire” Jolly asked.
“Aw fuck…”
“Did you get hit by fire?” Alune asked.
“Of course I did” I replied.

Making our way up to Ko’ragh we waited for Moose to get in. I went into auto pilot and started going on about the barrier and needing to soak the orbs.
“I seriously doubt that he’s going to last that long…”
Dang this being over geared thing is hard to get your head around. Especially considering the last time we were here was a year ago!

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I put up the markers for old times sake. This confused some of them.
“What are all the colours for?”
“Well, when he came out and hit one of you with his massive hammer, you would go and move to the next marker. Don’t worry, I’m just doing it for a screenshot…” I said as I was tweeting it out.
We got the the first barrier and then he fell over. Onwards!

Going up the stairs to the giant outside platform, someone pulled the mobs there.
“What are we doing?! You can sneak past all of these…” I blurted as I was suddenly in combat.
We all attacked them for a good five minutes before we realised they weren’t dying and more were spawning.
“What is going on?”
“What even is this?”
“Guys, let’s get to the door…”

Killing the guard we went through the portal with a shout of “don’t run forward!”
Taking out the guards in the portal room; in front of the door and in the throne room as well, we braced ourselves for the might that is/was Imperator.
We did zero tactics. Complained about having to wait 15 seconds for the wave of ghosts. Complained that he transitioned too quickly. Complained that nothing hurt.

Once we had killed him we went back to Hellfire.
Landing on Iskars doorstep, Danue noticed that it was called ‘Iskars Clutch’
“Have you noticed the name?” she said. “Iskars Clutch!”
“This place is clutch!” I added. Which resulted in a troll of Chris for his many moons ago use of the word clutch. Which Moose remembered fondly it seems…
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Jolly was about to put a pull timer up when I felt the need to point something out.
“Are you putting up markers?”
“Oh fuck me” he sighed “Yes I am…”

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There was also the issue of Jolly not being in the slightest bit ready…

After we got the boss down there was some congratulations in order.
“I was to congratulate Ketod for lasting longer than I did!” Hellsreaper said.
Ketod? He stayed silent…

01.16.16
by

All hail the Princess

We did alright last night. Cleared lower, got our ring upgrades and getting there was fun too.

When we started on Manny. It took some of us a while to get there though as we took the wrong portal despite being there who knows how many times. Surprise surprise it was the usual suspects…
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While on the trash at Archimonde things didn’t quite go as anticipated.
Oz went down fast and let us know that he was stunned.
“I’m stunned”
“You know you can use every man for himself, bubble or call out for something to get out of that…” Deko stated.
“No shit, Sherlock” Oz sighed.
“You can use every man for himself”
“And when that’s on cooldown?”
“Bubble”
“And when that’s on cooldown?”
“Call out for something”
“And if I just want to die?”
“Well…”

After we killed him we went out to reset. We took a break while loot was being given out and Jolly reset it to HC. There were some Hordies outside so we all took to our mounts to keep out of trouble.
Jolly ran out, reset and then told us it was ready. And then started attacking the Horde.
“Oh. I pick a fight outside and you all go in…” He said with a dissaproving tone.
“I’ll help you” Opala offered… “You big pussy…”

The RT2 banter carried on, on our way to Kormrok.
Upon entering Hellfire Citadel we were carefully CC’ing the adds and the plan was to pull them one at a time. It did not go to plan.
Three of them were pulled and the big guy lumbered into the fray as well.
“Or we pull all of them?” I offered as we were running around trying not to be hit by green balls.
“Nahh! There’s a sheep left….”
Which instantly made everything alright as we had managed to control ourselves enough to leave just one lonely add in its CC.
The discussion of hunters and how they are to blame came around while we were battling through the Trash in our way up the stairs. I announced that I was using barrage when I was silenced!
“What the fuck?! Who pacified me?”
There was laughter all over TS.
“Oh it’s too easy Ella…” came the reply from Ketod.

Standing in the doorway to the boss room, Jolly pulled the first pack and announced that there was a new Advanced Lesson video coming. This time to see if you’re a bad raider or not.
“Ella…”
“Hello”
“You’re screwed”
(I see how this is…)

At that point there was a wail over TS of “Ahhhh” as Jolly sailed through the air due to the knock back from the Trash and he landed at the feet of the big guy in the middle. Who was not happy to see him.
“Does bad positioning make you a bad raider?” I quizzed.
“I’m not giving anything else away” Jolly replied.
That’s a yes then…

We congregated by the orange pool and as I was patiently waiting I was pacified again.

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“I think we’re calling Ella a princess because we keep giving her a crown” Insaria quipped.
“Bow down bitches” I added, although no body did…
I was sending a tweet out (LOVE that feature) When I suddenly found myself in the orange pool itself and rapidly dying.
“Is Ella afk?”
“No, I’m here you bastards, I was sending a tweet!”

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Jolly put a ready check up and people were surprised it was all zeros.
“It’s been like that all night!” Jolly exclaimed.
“We’ve only just started raiding…” came the reply. “Give it a chance…”

Kormrok was a breeze, he fell over rather easily and we moved on to trash up the other staircase.
“If anyone is unsure of what they are doing on the next one, just barrage. That’s standard operating procedure, right?” Jolly added.
I was busy scribbling things down for later when I saw an opportunity too good to miss.
Ketod was standing next to a big crack in the floor which is filled with green goo. The crack is big enough for you to fall down and die. I should know as its happened to me.
I targeted him, positioned myself and clicked the swapblaster. I was totally confused to find myself stood net to him as he didn’t seem to have a neutral silencer on. I turned my camera around to see Ant clambering out of the hole.
“OMG Ant! Sorry! That wasn’t meant for you!”
I had to wait until it was off cooldown to try again, hoping that he didn’t come back to his keyboard to see what was going on.
3
2
1
Swap!
As he was dumped in the goo I skipped off a little to see if he made a move out of it. Nothing. I ran after the rest of the team and watched as his health dropped. ‘Dead’ popped up in his raid frame box and I giggled over TS.
“Why is Ketod dead?”
“I may have killed him…”
I got a whisper a while later ‘was that you that killed me??’ ‘Maaaaaaybeeee’ I whispered back.

We went painlessly through Council, Kilrogg and Gorefiend.

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Although, I found a nice invisible ledge to stand on and myself and a few team mates just stood on it looking smug while we left the rest of the team five feet away trying to slaughter the trash. We have a good sense of responsibility in this team!

01.13.16
by

Someone dropped their knickers for me!

Those purple BoEs, that’s what we love.
Greens just mean a bit more gold to cover repairs. Blues might be interesting for mogs.

While on our way to Kormrok we were clearing Trash in the corridor. I still had powershot on and those knock backs…
(Which reminds me of when we were clearing the dogs in Upper before you decide to go to Xhul or Fel Lord and I had powershot on again, Aska called out “Random knock back…?” and I just giggled as I watched the melee chase this dog that had gracefully flown through the air…)
We were on the mobs stood down the stairs that cause the green orbs to give you the cooties. As they pulled them, I clicked on the sparkly corpse by me feet and was given loot of unimaginable greatness.
Not only did I steal the gold out of the dead orcs pockets, I also stole something a bit more personal. His pants.

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Or to be more precise, his knickers.
It begs the question, who is Kitsy? And what was this orc doing with their knickers in his pocket?
These drop from a lot of mobs so Kitsy must have an extraordinary high underwear bill… And a fetish for giving their knickers out.

The actual knickers look awful. One can only imagine Kitsy is someone still alive from the first war to be wearing bloomers like that under their robe.
Does that mean Kitsy is an old lady giving out her pants?!? They also cost 14 gold to stitch them back up after you’ve torn them in battle. A good wash wouldn’t go amiss either…

It also reminded me of a snippet of conversation I had from a raid a while back which I’ve been holding onto for the right moment. Which happens to been now seeing as I pulled these horrendous things out of a dead dudes pocket.
We were coming to the end of the raid and Blackdahlia needed to leave.

“Do you think I can drop?”
“Your pants?”
“I can’t drop my pants…”
“Because you’re not wearing any?”
“Bingo”
Which resulted in ketod sighing over TS.
“Too much information…” he mumbled.

Maybe Blackdahlia is Kitsy???

01.08.16
by

Yolo-ing our way through

Tonight we did the last two and then the rest of upper and then cracked on with the harder stuff downstairs.

We had a ninja pull on Manni. Not even a case of an itchy barrage finger. This was a full out ‘ yolo’ ninja pull.
“Are we fit?” Jolly asked in his normal way before the pull timer goes out.
The yes reply came in the way of suddenly being in combat.
“Awww I was in the wrong spec” came over ts.
In my surprise at shit going off everywhere I used a potion.

Things went pretty well, then we were in the last stage.
“Right there are no markers up so everybody be at the other side of the boss.” Jolly said with an sense of hesitancy.
We instinctively went to the side where green usually is. Jolly managed to get a Red marker up for the tanks and only one person died!

I’m sure it was to set the tone for the night even if Archimond went down almost without a hitch. Jolly asked Deko to set up the groups. There was no reply.
“Is Deko here?”
“Yeah?” someone replied.
“Maybe he’s dc-ed?”
“I’m here. That’s what happens when you have your mic on mute…” he said. Eventually…
Upon entering the second phase where we should attack under the boss there were a few stragglers.
“Stack under the boss… Solo stacking… I see… ”
I was in the even number phase group, first team went in. Swirlies were all over the floor and in trying to get away I was having to run away from the boss. Then the warning went out for the second group. I ran as fast as my little legs could carry me, dodging Infernals like I was going for the winning try at Twickenham. I ended up with my toes just at the edge of the circle when they disappeared.
“Aw fuck! I missed it!”
I took my angst out on an Infernal who was next to me. I then started running away again while he chased me around the room.
The sacrifice group went in and we took down the last couple of percent. After we killed that, we went to do the rest of upper.

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We started on the red corridor. Going to Soc and the angry goat.
Soc went well, Jolly only put one wonky fire line down. He then manage to follow that in a straight line before discovering ‘third times the charm’. He went down so quickly.

Next onto the goat, none of us got locked out, no ninja pulls. Nice kill.

Opala reminded us that there was a back door to Iskar.
As we were running round I had a moment of realisation.
“I need to upgrade my shit…”
“upgrade your shit…” Ketod replied, with a weary tone.
“Yeah, to make it ‘special shit’!”
“Well. You are special Ella… So it’s already special shit…” he replied, before whispering me with ‘nomnut’.

We waited at the stairs.
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Not knowing what person was going to run in/barrage first.
During this fight we had some whoopsies.
“The bombs are not being dispelled…” Evil said.
“That’s because I don’t have the eye…” Lyra replied.
“Who has it? Jolly…..”
“I missed it that time!” he groaned.
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There was some nice loot. The trinket was a hot topic.
“Oh look at the trinket. That’s got hunter loot all over it!” Jolly quipped.
It said hunter loot so much, blizz were forced to state it wasn’t hunter loot…

After the kill, everyone ran off while I was looking at gear.
“Which way are we going?” I asked, genuinely for a moment unsure.
“There is only one way to go…” Moose replied.
“Well I was… Oh, no there is only one way…”
There was groans over ts.
“Oh my God Ella” Ketod mumbled.
“I got confused!”
“You really did need all that intellect…” Jolly mused.
“You could go and talk to Kadghar for a bit?” Moose offered.
“I’m sure he’s pretty lonely up here…” I replied.
“People keep using his portals and not saying thanks…”
“Like every mage!”

We went towards Xhul and started on the dogs.
“Can we aoe?” someone asked.
“I’ve just barraged…” I replied “and used my trinket… And a few multi-shots for good measure!”
“Ella, can you not barrage…” Hellsreaper said.
In the history of telling hunters not to do something that was the worst thing ever to say.
“No!?” I blurted out.
“Every time you barrage my screen goes crazy!”
“Well I can only do it every… 20 seconds”
“So doing some maths, there’s four of you so you could set off a barrage every five seconds” Jolly mused…
“My screen would go nuts”
“There’s only three of us…” I said.
“Imagine if we all did it at the same time!” Moose pointed out.

I paused on the bridge to ‘check something out’… When I say check something out I mean I was furiously scribbling down who said what for this blog. I then on my last sentence hit auto run and then died. I laughed heartily at my misfortune.
“How did you even die…”
“I found the hole in the Bridge…”
This lead to a dumb way to die conversation between the others.
“I’ve seen monks roll down that”
“I’ve seen monks roll off the platform”
“I’ve yet to see a warrior charge off the platform…”
Jolly said nothing.

Once we had killed that we went to Fel Lord.
The eye thing caught my attention.

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“What is this flying eye thing here for? The one that’s like Willy you get in children’s week…”
“You get a willy in children’s week?” Moose asked, concerned and confused.
“Oh the flying butt-hole?” Insaria added.
“Yes that’s the one”
“Like Durumu?”
“YES. Oh my God I fucking hate that boss” I spluttered. Getting Vietnam style flashbacks.
“Is that the one with the maze?” Jolly asked.
“Yes!”
“Oh that was awful…” he groaned.
“That was the only boss I was glad to die on” I declared.
“I’m sure everyone was glad you were dead Ella…” Ketod quietly added.
(Yes, I did hear that!)

01.06.16
by

Raiding funnies

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Our attentions turned to Soc upstairs tonight, practice to get him down this reset so we can progress with Fel lord on Thursday. Markers went up and tactics were explained.
“During phase two we need to dps down the starcallers…” Jolly started to say, confused laughter rippled out over ts. “Is that what they’re called? Starbringers?”
“Ummm I don’t think so…”
“What are they called?” Jolly mused.
“Shadowbringers?” was added into the mix as undoubtedly nearly everyone opened up the dungeon journal to see what the fuck they werecalled.
“Shadowcallers!”
“Ah that’s it”
“We were close…”
Now satisfied we knew who exactly we were killing we made sure we were all aware about the ghosts and stacking up correctly.
Team hunter (that’s Deko, Moose and I) knew our jobs. Ghost duty. Jolly was taking the construct and everything was going to go swimmingly.
Alas, the best made plans and all that meant that we were a little wobbly to say the least.
All went well during the first phase and the portal was on the side where you enter the room.The green shit on the floor was placed and Jolly wasn’t as keen this time to take ghosts to the face.Team hunter got into position and got ready. “Ghosts” I said as they appeared. Three barrages went off.
“Errr we have Trash, we better wipe it…” Deko said as we were a little confused as to where they came from.
“Barrage through the walls!” Moose added as we all stood in shit to die.
“We should clear them just to be safe”
“Were they the ones by the stairs?”
“Yep”
“Bloody hunters”
“I don’t think it was me?”
“it’s like when you have Boomkins, blame one, blame them all… It’s just because we’re so op…”
As we got to the Trash and cleared them up Moose was bouncing around in the door way.
“It’s a pretty thick wall. That’s some skill to shoot through it!”
“And magic arrows!”

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Like something from the Blair Witch Project...

We set off again and this time it was kinda clean.
Jolly put the green stuff down again, with Deko softly having an ocd attack over the placement on ts. I wasn’t sure what he was saying but it was in a pitch only dogs could hear…
The portal switched position just as Jolly put another row of fire.
“The portals switched… Oh shit. This is going to hurt.” Deko said as team hunter got to organising stuns.
“Ranged, time to get your shit together!”
Jolly put another line down. However, it was only in the general direction of the portal.
“Oh my God, that is not a straight line…” he said as we froze to admire what he had done. The fire was kinda diagonally across the portal. If I wasn’t laughing so hard I would have taken a screen shot, or better still, a selfie but once again all I can manage is to crack out my amazing paint skills to illustrate what happened…
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At one point, I contracted the ‘green circle of doom’ disease. At this point Deko and I were stood next to one another and as I moved away to my left, so did he. As we both kept running in the same direction as the other was going in a futile effort to get away from one another, the Benny Hill sketch was finished when I sqawked over ts “Waaaaah! Go the other way”. By this point, he also had the cooties and we had positioned our circles beautifully.

Despite the fire being all over the floor, and the ghosts having a whale of a time chasing people we killed it. It was better than last time! Onward to the goat!
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This one was fun. Mostly because I, along with 4.5 others (Blackdahlia had his Monk thingy outside the gate), did nothing.
We were all in position around the boss and we’re just running through a few pointers when suddenly we had an epic ninja pull. (Theres a video about this…) some of us beat a hasty retreat and as the gates went up. There was a group of us outside.
With nothing to do but watch as they went for it we relaxed. We had a healer with us so we should have been fine.
“I like how team hunter all got out…” I said as we watched the rest of them batter the boss.
The big hammer appeared on us outside and we all stacked up. Deko and I succumbed to it. Leaving three still physically there we watched with the advantage of being dead.
The font of corruption came out and it was survived Moose got the hammer and stacked with Lyra, the healer. Watching the purple circle get smaller her fate was inevitable and gracefully she flopped to the floor as Moose hopped away.
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While we were pissing around outside, all their hard work inside paid off and they did kill it to much laughter. Not quite to the book but a kill is a kill!