We had done our Mythic 2 in Eye of Azshara (which went very well! this time…) and we were hanging around discussing gear and transmogs while having a look through the new items that we will acquire in BfA.
Talk turned to current items and how slutmogs don’t really seem to be a thing currently and that the peak slutmog era seemed to be back in The Burning Crusade. With Ahn’Qiraj slowly building up to it before more ‘sensible’ mogs seemed to then become the norm.
The only issue is, these dresses may look amazing on females but when on males the thought is less tits-n-ass and more “why the fuck am I wearing my Grandmas Nightdress?!?”
What about Gnomes? The current chestplate on my Hunter looks like it would be a smock on a Gnome. How do they even have enough body to get all the peices on? Let alone have enough body to get it all on and still be able to show 50% of their skin???
Apparently, very easily. Although my Hunter also has the mail version of that green chestplate and she would need two of this size to even cover her boobs… I’m not sure how I feel about a slutmog Gnome…
They should be all innocent and cute! Not looking like they would be working a pole the size of a bog brush… Or maybe I’m the only one who thinks like that?
As you can see the stuff in the Dungeon Finder and your appearance tab in your Collections, you can have a peek at what your going to be rocking in BfA and how much money you are potentially going to be giving to the bandage dudes to make it all go away.
Having said that, there are some awesome 7th Legionnaire stuff out there to really show your colours with pride and I am sure as hell going to be rocking the shit out of that stuff!
Granted, they will have to have some special ‘Zionxi tweaks’ *winkwink* to get them to my liking but they are so pretty!
After cooing over these sets we strayed into the depths of the Collections. And things got very, very weird…
To try and see these creations we had to go old school noob and use Whatsapp as the cross-faction community didn’t allow us to click on the items linked to put them onto our own characters. /cry
This came up first.
“Jesus, I’m going to have to go landcape because Taurens are so fucking wide…” Dan muttered over Discord.
Lorenz didn’t miss a beat.
“Unit” he replied.
This was what we were presented with. The Horde version of the Alliance sets.
“Want to make it Horde? Put spikes all over it!” Dan said, in response to the set he just sent us.
“Yeah but want to make it Alliance just cover it in shiny gold…” I replied.
“Or blue!” Lorenz added.
It was the turn of the Rogues…
“Lorenz… Why does your Rogue have a hub-cap on its head?”
“It’s so stupid, we’re supposed to be strealthy…”
“What with spikes on your shoulders so big you can’t fit through doors?”
Then, I found this…
“Hey guys, I’ve got a taxidermy bird had hanging under my tits…”
“What?! Link?!” this was followed up by “Oh, my, god.”
It had been a while since I had even logged onto my Druid and this was one of the mog options I was confronted with…
Lorenz then blessed us all with this Rogue in bondage mankini…
We were not sure what to think of it.
I found it highly amusing but Dan wanted to gouge his eyes out.
“That’s so uncomfortable to look at….”
Unfortunately for Dan, we were not done.
Lorenz showed us his other slutmog where his man cleavage is held together with straps. Dan sounded like he was writhing in agony. Desperate to remove this image that had been burnt onto his retinas.
I just knew, however, that it wasn’t the best that could be done. There was a better option for getting more of this hulking human man flesh out on display. I started furiously trawling through the options on the Collection of my male Rogue class trial to put together the perfect set….
This was the first attempt…
“Why!” Dan shrieked.
“Urgh, look at those feet…” Even Lorenz was sounding like he had had his fill of gratuitous man-meat that these mogs put on display.
“Them toe nails though!” I laughed. I was thinking though that there was a finishing touch that could really make this outfit.
“NO! here we go…”
My work here was done…
Now picture a Rogue, in a Girdle running into battle with bloodied cleavers coming at you. With a rose clamped in his mouth.