Barrage is so clutch


Tuesday night raids are fun, the crew gets back together and we kill bosses.
This time we started on the upper floors. Having the main of a pugged pally join us.
Everything was going ‘ normally’. I’d just downed a Red Bull and was feeling casual with my approach to dps.
Being presented with a pack of adds on Iskar I announced “barrage!” as I pressed the button.
“I’m to scared to use barrage in here” Moose said as a hail of arrows swept into the group of mobs Chris was tanking.
I did it again in the next pack.
“omg. As long as the robot doesn’t get pulled!” Chris spluttered.
It didn’t.
We were fine. Killed the boss and went on our way.

The next Trash pack was in the red hallway. The huge guardian in the corner bit was pulled. The red beams went round.
“is that what you’re supposed to look away from?” I asked as I was thrown up into the air.
“no, it’s the other one.” Chris replied.
The other one was announced. ‘crowd control’.
“And half of the people didn’t look away”

While we were spending our time looking at the opposite wall or being cursed by an almighty beam of light the next guardian had stopped in the doorway.
“Is it going to move?”
“Yeah, it will in a minute”
“What happens if we pull it? Will it pull the rest of them?” Jolly asked.
“Yeah we need to wait for him to fuck off first.” Chris assured us.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m pretty positive”

Jolly hit it and the guardian started running at us.
“Here come the others…”
We were flattened. As we ressed and came back through the portal and towards the mobs again Chris asked the all important questions.
“Did we manage to kill any… No.”
There was laughing.
“I hope we’ve learnt a valuable lesson…” he added.
“Well” Jolly said “We learnt that we can’t pull the robot without pulling everything…”
“Yes. This is true. Let’s wait until he goes before pulling this time”

So we waited. The guardian lumbered off and we pulled the first pack. A barrage swept past me and straight into the other pack of mobs a bit further up.
“That was not me!” I shouted as we started wiping again.
“How on earth did you manage to pull them from there?” Chris exclaimed.
“Actually I think that might have been me…” Moose volunteered. His mastery was a lot higher than mine and gave him a longer range.
“We need to kill these before the guardian turns around!”

We did manage it. And then the most amazing thing happened. Chris decided to describe how that pull went.
“That was so clutch!”
There was a silence apart from me repeating “Clutch?” over and over again, interjecting occasionally with “I’m sorry, what?”
We rounded the corner to Soc. I still wouldn’t let it drop.
“Chris a clutch is what I press with my foot to change gear”
“Have you never heard of it?”
“No!” Jolly and I both spluttered.
“Bloody southerners. You don’t talk properly!” Chris retaliated.
“We talk with the Queens English.”
“it means close”
“Close, means close. Clutch is a car part…”
“Well, you’re wrong. It’s clutch!”
“I know what you mean” Moose added. However, this was now something I’d grabbed onto and wasn’t going to let go.

We got to Soc. As the tactics were briefly being run through the points for ranged and the ‘what to do with the orb and what to do with the charge’ were discussed.
“So with charge, go clutch to the stairs” I quipped.
“grrrr” was all Chris could reply with.
Essentially, anything that happened during the boss fight that required us to be close to something or that someone was too close to us with the debuff the commands were called out but with ‘close’ replaced with ‘clutch’. Chris started to have an aneurysm.
Soc went down and we started on the Trash toward Tyrant.
“Follow me!”
“Get clutch to Chris”
“Oh my fucking God. That’s not how you use it!”
This carried on until we got to the Trash in the room.

“Ok, we need to cc the adds and then pull the big one…”
“And then barrage?”
“Well, you could spend time cc’ing them all and then barrage and break them all out…”
Two of the four mobs were cc’ed. And then someone pulled.
“That wasn’t me!”
“Or you could just do that…” Chris final replyed with a exasperated tone.
The three mobs were dragged out into the hallway.
“Those traps are going to break soon” I pointed out, seeing as my cool down was off and the next two would come running at us. I shifted my position to see through the doorway.
“Here they come”
“Its fine, we’ve got them”
“Good! or that would have been clutch”
“OMG I’m getting so angry!”

Killing those and moving further on into the room, barrage was used, cc’s were broken, it was very clutch as to if we were going to wipe on trash. Soon, we were left with only the ones on the little platform thing by the side.
“Right we need to pull these three” Chris said, relived that it was coming to an end.
“Barrage?” I asked innocently.
“God no! We only want to pull these three, not the whole lot and then die”
So, only three were pulled.
“Barrage!” I announced as a great wave of lines came out from my bow. “Oh god…”
Nothing more was pulled, but the sheer terror that barrage can cause is amusing.
“And they’re all dead… That was a clutch call!”

I would say that the story end there but after going on about clutch so much and having a lively discussion about if it was a car part or a substitute word for ‘close’ the conversation carried on with our WhatsApp group.





Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s