This post can only ever really start with the obligatory clusterfuck that is ‘the main quest giver’ at the start of the expansion.
Now that’s done, lets have a look into some funnies that I can across during this first week of wandering around this land that we didn’t know about but sailed right next to when travelling around Azeroth by boat…
Speaking of boats, they are a main feature for transport options. Calling them ferries, you would assume that they would be quite spacious for you and your companions.
And yes, they do have plenty of room in them but one; they are a paddle boat not a ferry. And two; they are apparently anti pets. Judging by the fact they kept making Fluffy doggy-paddle for his life trying to keep up with the boat that had more than enough room for him!
I started in Drustvar first (before completely fucking up the questlines for the other two zones and not knowing what was going on) and set off to kill witches and random ass rabbits with blood stained faces…
I was questing with two others here in a party, we came across a cemetery that had a rare bird in it and also loads of berries and stuff we had to collect. We killed the bird and then went off to get the berries to make into some sort of concoction. I managed to pull the rare again and being 110 still, I was concerned…
“Have you pulled the bird again?”
“Tame it to get rid of it”
So I did. Taking a beating while dismissing Fluffy and then set about taming the birdy. Apologies to whoever else was hitting it to try and kill it… You loot is currently in my stable…
Moving on, at one point we got to a place where we had to turn in a quest and discovered that the puddles there were more ‘ordered’ than is usually expected.
Them square puddles tho…
There was another one where I went from a ‘Champion of the Alliance’ to ‘lowly pupil/scribe’ in a matter of seconds. Wtf, hang on, I cannot write that fast! And no wonder, considering it looks like I’ve never held a pen before. I guess I am an arrow-slinger after all…
I popped down to Freeport (not the instance!). Had no idea what it was and ended up getting butchered. With a quest and a jaunty hat however, it was a different matter. I had to find out about the location of the treasure and had the unfortunate job of asking someone who was very clearly deaf.
After yelling at them for a bit I got the information I needed and then ran away to the next person, just as I got out of the building they were in I was greeted by this yelling…
Then when I wanted to drink a glass with my new bestie Flynn, I was greeted with this… Not only do we get the drunk haze and whacked movement, we now loose our intellect. Good job I just use a bit of string tied to a bendy branch and pointy wooden sticks!
Then I was greeted by an NPC who is channelling Jeffrey Dahmer… Nice. Although I challenge anyone to not read that quest title in the way of the song it’s a parody of!
“I like fish guts and I cannot lie!”
“You other brothers can’t deny!”
“What the fuck are you going on about?”
“My quest! I like fish guts and I cannot lie!”
“Oh god…” (Head shaking commences)
I found a vendor that sold some scrolls and while two of them were self explanatory, one I just didn’t know what it did. So what do you do when you have a usable item and you don’t know what it does? Look it up on Wowhead? Nooooooooo, you use it!
It made me sit in a ‘zen’ pose and float around like that as I moved. I was shooting things while zenning, jumping while zenning and generally just being a chilled out little Hunter.
The best bit was possibly showjumping while zenning, as I floated over my horse while holding onto a massive spear. Looking chill as fuck about stabbing tiny stuffed Gnolls that came out of barrles. Needless to say, I did get some players stop what they were doing to watch me and wonder what the hell I was doing and if it was a server issue…
Another thing that really made me laugh is when one NPC is critical to an entire storyline and therefore they have to be in about twenty places at once. So I had followed Brother Pike for miles and here he was after a dungeon. Yet I had to find him in a completely different place to turn in the quest…
I’d seen about the Alpacas on Petopia. And yes, I had tried, you cant tame them. But the following quests was just Blizzard acknowledging the feelings of the players, caps and all. I have to say when I first came across an Alpaca, I screeched at Francis and pointed at me screen screeching ‘LOOK AT IT!!!!” at him…. So this quest is ‘current mood’ when it comes to the Alpacas.
Ok last one for now but I had a quest where I had to shave some goats…
Some goats got pissed off at being shaved, I mean it was like those videos from the early 2000’s where people would creep up on others with clippers and then shave a section of their hair off. But this was with goats. Those that didn’t get angry got scared and ran off away from you.
I shaved one and it ran off. Straight into the path of a fucking bear that started to kill it. I just stood there in horror, not sure what to do and I watched the goat get torn to shreds by a bear. Holy fuck.
This was then compensated by the fact I had to then later on, go out and milk some goats. The goats were happy at being milked.
I’ve shaved some goats, I’ve milked some goats… What the hell is next?!?
Oh, yeah I forgot to mention. You have to sift through shit, again.