Ok, so I’ve been trying to complete Loremaster because I have no life.
I avoided Twilight Highlands for ages due to accidentally running into some mobs when I was nowhere near lvl 85 and shitting myself. Hence, I haven’t done any of the quests in there.
As I was levelling up my Paladin I decided to do the whole of Twilight Highlands in one go to get the thing done for loremaster and gain myself some useful xp while doing it, rather than just steam roll it on my main and then have to still level my alt. After making that decision, I steeled myself and ran in, picked up the first quest and ended up on the most bizarre retelling of Romeo and Juliette I think I have ever seen.
I have to say that I have not been one to read quest text and for the life of me, I couldn’t really tell you why these clans had all fallen out but I did manage to grasp that they needed to be united to fend off the Twilight. And they needed to do that with booze and a wedding…
I found guests, I found booze, I healed gryphons, I killed dragons, I ran around picking up feathers, I escorted more booze, I got someone to write a song.
After I gave them all the help they asked for, this is what they came up with…
In Thundermar the tales proclaimed
Of a bold lass destined for fame
With emerald green eyes and big man-crushing thighs
And ‘Fanny’ a most fitting name
Of her suitors she was unimpressed
‘Til mighty Firebeard crossed heart and professed
To the heavens above our hero claimed love
Of a depth the like few can be blessed.
Now let cheering dispel the Twilight
And let the Wildhammers unite!
They’re short an’ they’re stout, but no man can doubt:
Firebeard and his Fanny are tight.
The line ‘Fanny a most fitting name’ had me in stitches. As a Brit, fanny is slang for vagina. So in my mind, this broad was being told she had a fitting name because she was called a vagina. Coupled with ‘Firebeared and his Fanny are tight’ it just sounded like Firebeard and his tight fanny (you see where I’m coming from…) so I’m howling with laughter at this, trying to explain what was going on to my boyfriend while he was trying to concentrate on his raid and work out what the hell was going on to his left…
I don’t even remember what went of after this union of stout man and his tight fanny. I don’t even know if I’ve finished the questline without looking. I was absolutely 100% mind in the gutter and forgot about everything else.
Oh, no, I do remember. I think some sort of beastie tried to interrupt the ceremony and I had to kill it. Maybe that was the end? Who rightly knows… all I know is that this bloody song is the only thing I can be absolutely sure of in that entire questline.
However! I must burst my own bubble and explain that Blizz haven’t named a female npc ‘Vagina’ or called her a tight one at that. Fanny, when someones name, can mean ‘free one’. This is why it was fitting, she was a stubborn one who wouldn’t take any shit if I can recall correctly. (Kids, this is why you read quest text! So you actually know what is going on!)
Well, this kinda ruins my fun…