The curious case of the chest thief and the RP guild

We had gone to Southshore at lvl 28 as we had a couple of quests there to do, one of them was killing Murlocs and bringing 10 of their heads in a bag to some dude who was stood outside of the Inn.

Going off on our way, there was three of us. A tank, a healer and a DPS. It wasn’t overly difficult between us despite the mobs being lvl 32 but it was not a cakewalk either.
There was a priest on their own, picking off the Murlocs one by one. We asked if they wanted to group up to get the killing done quicker but they declined. Alrighty then.

As we had cleared a pack of five, the priest was further up ahead, they seemed to be in a spot of bother.
Alas they had tagged a pack of six, most of them were the throwy bois who were content to just stay where they were and yeet spears.
There was also a chest.

We stood by, wondering what to do. The priest hadn’t wanted our help earlier but now seemed like she needed it.
But that would also result in the chest being up for grabs.

After she had killed a couple, she deemed it best to retreat. The Murlocs were not happy about it and chased after her screeching.
We watched her health bard deteriorate. She did not look like she was going to make it back to the safety of Southshore and the guards. Alas, it was no longer our concern as the Murlocs that were left were red.
And if it’s red, it’s dead.

We launched ourselves into the group. Hitting them with all that we had.
One issue we did not take into consideration was that the priest was just going to run and wasn’t going to take down a couple of the throwy bois before she dropped dead in a crumpled heap.

Back they came. Reeeing in a way that Murlocs do best and stood there, just out of the danger zone, yeeting spears at all of us now.

I kept the tank up and the DPS did their thing. Until they decided to AOE and then it all went to shit.
I had to pop a big heal on the tank, which meant that I was now the target of all the yeeting.
The DPS was running around in circles like their ass was on fire.
The Murlocs were going mad.
And a Paladin showed up after watching from the side lines.

At this point the tank was not happy. Taking some time out from smashing his face into the nearby mobs, he decided to stop controlling the shitshow going on and instead have some stern words with the Paladin who had come over to take the chest for himself.

The DPS also decided to stop killing things to instead also yell at the Paladin all the while being punched on the top of his head by a very angry Murloc.
I however stayed silent.
Because I was too busy trying to channel Uthers wisdom and keep these two alive.
Every time they said something, I was healing.
Every time I healed, the Murlocs went after me as I was keeping their playthings from dying.

We all ended up dead.

Running back from the graveyard, we could see the chest was still there and the Murlocs too.
Going in for round two, we almost had them but then a few of their friends decided to show up and join in the spear yeeting.

While I was desperately trying to click on the chest, keep them and myself alive, the Paladin strolled over. Killing the one that we hadn’t managed to agro
and then took the chest.
Sort of.
They took anything of value and instead of emptying it so it would respawn, they left they shit in there that they didn’t want.

At this point we were pissed off beyond words.
The tank and the DPS were pissed off at the Paladin.
I was pissed off that they priorotising getting pissed off at the Paladin rather than getting their shit together.

The DPS sent word to the Paladins Guild Master about the cowardly act.
The Guild Master didn’t seem to thing there was a problem with one of his members behaving like a little twat.
Instead, they decided that the matter should be settled via a duel.
One where a lvl 32 would be pitched against a lvl 28 because apparently that was fair.
And one where they wouldn’t pitch their Paladin against our Mage because they knew the Paladin would loose.

We had to traipse all the way back to Stormwind for this…
As we got to the gates, there was a group of the guild members standing there waiting for the action to start.
They had buffed the Paladin thief with everything they could and preped him for battle.
When it was pointed out that it was very one sided, in favour of the Paladin, they didn’t seem to care. The fact that the Paladin had the advantage was a reason to have the duel.
The enemy guild brought out their announcer, who yelled to everyone that there that the epic showdown was going to start.


It was confusing.
The duel flag went up and down more times that the pants of someone with a bladder infection.
The announcer screeched that he wasn’t ready.
No one knew quite what was going on.
Then the flag stayed down. This was it.
The tank and Paladin were neck and neck. David and Goliath.
The tank, had two buffs on him, the Paladin had everything.
At 10% health, the Paladin managed to land the deciding blow.

From the the enemy Guild Master decided that because the duel had been won by the Paladin, he was absolved of any wrong doing.
He had picked the player that he knew he would be able to beat a Warrior Tank that was four levels below him and then asked for all the buffs under the sun to doubly make sure of that.
His Guild Master had then patted him on the head and affirmed to him that he could behave like the biggest dick in the world, as long as he could beat the person he dicked on in a duel…

I couldn’t let this go lying down.
The Paladin was a coward in the field and a coward when facing up to his misdeeds.
While they were congratulating themselves in a massive RP circle jerk I let my mouth do what my brain was telling me not to.
“Shame your Paladins a pussy…”
Before I skipped off back through the gates and toward the flight master to go back to Southshore.

Once there we again had to continue collecting bloody Murloc heads.
As we went to get the last few that we needed, we spotted a bigger Murloc that looked like he might have had some good loot on him.
“Rare! Rare! Rare” The tank screeched as they charged in and headbutted it.
The DPS hit it hard enough to do a large amount of damage but not enough to stop the Murlock from throttling the tank and go after him.
As we were moving towards it, who else did we see make a move towards it and then stop?
The god damn Paladin.
They had tried to run into it to try and steal the tag from us but then just slowly backed away.
So we killed the Murloc fast and then all swooped up to where the Paladin was trying to retreat to. Running through him like angry ghosts, unable to damage him but the sentiment was one that couldn’t be missed.

We haven’t seen the Paladin or the guild since… But they are up there along with the Pirates as a sworn enemy!



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