Yeah, I finally caved in and threw my bank card at my screen and bought it.
Why I took so long? Legion just didn’t do it for me. The burning legion, again. Talent trees, again (even if they have tried to conceal it in a shiny new form). Class Halls, aka Garrison 2.0. And the biggest issue I have, questing. Again.
I did the intro shite. And saw the cinematic which just made my blood boil. Vol’jin has done absolutly nothing for a whole expansion and then tells Sylvanas to make sure the Horde don’t die on the Broken Shore. I’m sorry? You can’t defeat the Legion on your own but instead of behaving like the warriors you are supposed to be you decide to slink off like a petulant child who’s just had a slapped arse. Well, Vol’jin didn’t, he got taken out easier than an escort with the rent to pay that week, but you get my drift. Instead of battling like warriors and potentially suffering defeat in an honorable way, they decide the best thing to do is to suffer defeat as cowards. I’m guessing that this was to ensure that hatred between the sides was restored after two expansions of tolerating each other…
Other new things had me screaming “What the FUCK is that?!?” at my screen. Genn Graymane seems to have found a pack of ‘Just for Men’ at the back of a cupboard and used it to dye his whole face. He also seems to have found an outlet to get his eyebrows threaded…
And then after that fateful cinematic you get to see the biggest wtf ever. Hello Anduin!
From a tiny child that wore clown shoes and was dressed like a peasant he appeared in MoP as a headstrong yet wise young man who looked like he was going to follow in the Disney ‘Prince Charming’ vein but no. Blizz decided to go all throwback Thursday and create the bastard child of Disney Prince and 90’s boyband member.
Once I got to the Broken Isles I had mixed feelings. I’d already settled on BM as my spec so I took note from Jania and fucked off although it was less dramatic as I only went over to my Class Hall.
Underwhelming is the word of the day, everyday for that place. Yes it’s ‘convinient’ but it’s utter shite. There was literally nothing in game already over ten years of wow that the developers could say ‘that’s a hunter place’ so they had to get their intern to knock something out. It’s even the same building footprint as all the generic crap buildings in game. To try and bamboozle the hunter player base they put a few crap bows on the wall which really should have been vendor items to help pay for some actual building work.
I’m so, so salty about this. I know rogues got screwed over with the sewers but at least they got somewhere that is actually quite iconic in game! I took Yjelza to my Class Hall. That’s right, I took him there and he sat there for five or so seconds before he got booted out to the nearest flight point and the consensus was “wow, that’s pretty dismal”
Then theres just the sheer number of pets in there. When you have five BM hunters crowded around the shitty alter (read that as the massive slab that looks like an autopsy table) you’re not just contending with five players and five pets, that’s five players and ten pets… It looks like mauling time at the zoo in there…
I set off questing after I’d had enough of that shit and went to Azuna/Azuraba/Azuidontreallycare to start killing me some demons. By kill some I mean, kill 10 then kill another 10 then kill another 10 then kill some more until you have 50 of these things that I’ve requested but in reality I don’t really need but I am going to make it look like they are super important. (see why I hate questing?)
I did come across the unicorns (first picture of the post) only to find out that you can’t tame them. Blizz, seriously? We can fit a while stable yard of horses in our notebook compendium to ride but we can’t fit one in a pokeball? I smell a paid for item!
Questing eventually brought me to dragons and my first response to this scene was “awww, he’s chillin’ in his pond”
After fixing shit and getting stuff back in order I returned to have him tell me that he’s never felt better! Click on him again and he tells you he’s dying. Wut? I just busted my ass for you, fell off cliffs, got punched in the face, got lost and you can’t make your mind up if you’re alive or dead? That dragon is now called Schrödinger.
While trying to find out what the hell I was supposed to do next, chillin’ out in the pond next to my new best bud, Schrödinger, I died. Wtf?!
After he sat on my corpse I was immediately sure I’d been ganked and had not realised what was going on as I was engrossed in trying to decipher the quest text. Yjelza asked what had happened and who it was. Clicking furiously on my combat log, ready to try and decipher some nonsensical name to shout out when I read “you drowned”. Oh.