Noobery intensifies – Eye of Azshara M0

We had a call to arms by Lorenz as he requested that we provide a loot funnelling service to him and also a carry. So we got a group of four together and decided to tackle a Mythic 0 to get ourselves a key for later shenanigans.


Eye of Azshara was in our sights and I was on my Priest in my favoured Holy spec and rocking a new transmog (will post it up soon!) but at the time that the group was forming I was completing a quest for the Legion alchemy station and had been sent off around Azeroth to speak to other alchemists about these tube things that I had been given by the Black Market people in the Underbelly.

Once I got back, I hopped on a flight path from Dalaran and headed to where the yellow dot of Lorenz was on the map.

How not to get to a dungeon…

He then pipped up, asking where the entrance to the dungeon was…
“What? I thought you were there and I took a flight path to where you are….” I replied, frantically spamming my ‘get off at next stop’ button.
“The entrance is here Lorenz, the big blue circle on your map” Francis sighed. “I’m in here clearing trash while you are fucking about… just fly here north of the Ruined Sanctum…”
“I don’t have Legion flying…” there was the sound of a giggle being suppressed.
“WHAT?!?” was the reply of several people over Discord.
“Nope.” He added, laughing.
“How can you not have flying?!”
“That Suramar questline kills me.” He replied, very solemnly.
“For fuck sake!” Dan kept just short of yelling. “I’ll come and get you…”
“Did you have flying in WoD?” I asked. I could’t quite believe that after all this time he still hadn’t got round to finishing it.
“Yeah, but that was because Francis and I shared the account so he effectively got it for me.” I turned to see Francis nodding with pursed lips. He had done all the hard work. But he was grinning slightly at this turn of events.
“Where are you Lorenz, I can’t see you…” Dan asked, slightly perplexed.
“You’re not in the group!” Lorenz yelled at Dan, unsure at how he hadn’t realised that yet.
“What! Well! Whose fault is that!”

Most difficult dungeon entrance to find… For some of our party anyway…

Once we were all in an actual group we slowly started going in. Francis had already been in there for a while and was dutifully clearing the trash up to the last boss and was heading back. I entered and ran down the left hand side as you got in following the clear path and then turned right towards the first boss area but got confused as there was still a lot of mobs wandering around and very much not dead.

“What the fuck, I thought you said you cleared everything?!”
Francis turned to look at my screen.
“I said I cleared the first boss! It’s that way,” He jabbed a finger at my screen and my eyes focused on where he was pointing to and saw a path downwards that I had sailed straight past and almost into the slimy fish arms of a lot of angry Naga.
I retreated from the path I was going and stood at the boss, waiting for everyone. Francis was almost at the boss and Dan was on the return leg of fetching Lorenz.

“Is that Ellas Lightspawn?”
“What? I’m not even with you…”
“Oh? Yeah, that must be mine…”

It was a sign of things to come….

naga eye of azshara

“Oh God! Run! Run” exploded over Discord. Shattering the calm that had descended as we waited to convene at the first boss.
“What the fuck is going on?” I asked, concerned and humoured by what I was listening to.
“Francis said he had cleared the trash but he obviously hasn’t!”
We instantly knew what they had done upon entering the dungeon, they had run straight down the middle. Pissing off every single Naga they could lay their eyes on.
“You run down the side! I cleared the side!” Francis wearily berated them as he was wildly gesticulating at his screen.
“Oh God…” was all I could mutter as I slowly turned my camera expecting to find some carnage going on behind me.

I saw Lorenz and that was it. I used Leap of Faith on him to get him out of any trouble his rogue ass might find itself in.
“Thank you” he said as he stealthed and made his way over to the side of the boss.
I watched the pink dot of Francis run into the area on my map and his character appeared, running past me and towards the boss.
“Right, lets go.” I declared as I hit the boss with a cast of Holy Fire to get the ball rolling. Everything was fine until there seemed to be a hell of a lot of adds running around us and I was having to pump healing out of my ass like I had never had to do before in this dungeon.

“Where are all these fucking ads coming from” I screeched as I pummelled my flash heal button to try and keep Lorenz alive long enough for me to move my finger across to to my Guardian Spirit key as I had just used my ‘oh shit’ spell on Dan.
“The boss brings them in” Lorenz pipped up, apparently unfazed at the swarm of Naga bitch slapping us all while Francis tried to round them all up.
“No. Someone pulled these from outside the boss!” Francis yelled in return while also yelling at the adds in game. “You Lorenz, you pulled them.”

This was deteriorating fast. As soon as my ‘oh fuck’ spell was off cooldown it was having to be reapplied. I was having to dodge shit more quicker than the cast time of Divine Hymn and due to that I couldn’t rely on it to just get everyone back up to health levels that didn’t give me palpitations. People were standing in crap they shouldn’t be and the boss kept healing. I was determined to not cast my massive cooldown quite yet as things were dire but not that dire.

“Can you move him out of the shit?” I asked as I could see both Francis and Lorenz having to wade through the sand crap to try and hit the boss.
Dan was rapidly dying but also out of range. He was also on a priest and playing shadow. and hating every minute of it.
“Dan where are you? I cant see you?” I had to stop casting my heals to try and find him before the shit hit the pan, again.
“For fuck sake! The boss has just healed!” Francis groused as he pulled the boss out of more shit and battered a Naga add in the face with his shield. “The boss has gone from 10% to 50…”

At this point we killed the last ad and it seemed to get easier. Francis took his rage out on the boss and brought it right back down again. Lorenz poked it in its tail with his pointy daggers and Dan sent a Mindbender out at it.

“I hate Shadow, its so shit now”
“Why?” I asked. Curious to his reasoning as I know I had my own issues with it at the start of the expansion but had grown to respect it towards the end.
“They’ve changed it and now it’s just awful to play…”
“It’s like a four button rotation though?”
“Yeah I know but it’s so boring now… Have you played Disc?”
“Nah, I don’t really like it” I replied.
Disc confused me to be honest and I just like the panicked response strategy of Holy for the most part. I felt that I was there to sort out the fuck ups as Holy and Disc was there to try and prevent them from being an oopsy moment and that was fine by me.

As we got over to the second boss, the one who is in the pool with the stepping stone bits of land around her, Dan somehow managed to die.
“Dan why are you dying? Why are you dead?”
“I fell off a cliff and ended up in the water…”
“You can go in the water, just not that close!”


We were a lot less of a clusterfuck on this one. Playing the hokey-cokey with the land and water there was a point where we had to run to land and for some reason both Dan and I ended up on the same bit when the purple gas debuff was also lingering on people.

I dispelled Francis who had decided he would take his chances in the water rather than come join us all on the island. Just as I did, I got flung sideways towards another island bit. Confused, I turned back around and headed towards the land mass that I had designated ‘my spot’. My debuff expired and I vomited a large purple gaseous eruption from my face. Right in the direction of Dan.

He sailed away from me and towards the back of the area.
“What the fuck was that?!” He yelled. Absolutely confused at to what had just happened to him.

I had started laughing and I couldn’t stop.

“Did your dispell just throw me away?” he asked, concerned.
“Hold on, Ella is broken…” Francis sighed as he watched me melting down into tears of laughter over something so mundane.

With the boss dead, they looted it and ran off as I was still trying to see my screen through tear filled eyes. I ran off without looting it and was then asked by Francis if I was just going to leave it there.
“It gets mailed to you anyway. Doesn’t it?”
“I don’t know…”
So I trotted back to it to pick it up just in case and found them at Maghera 2.0.


Who wore it better?

We had winds and a lot of shit on the floor to contend with.

Once the first split came out I was there by one head and attacking that while everyone else seemed to run off to the opposite side of the room.

I could see Lorenz was dying, rapidly.

“Lorenz where are you?! Youre dying!” I pleaded.
“I’m trying to find you!”

I could make out his character in one of the bigger pools that the heads come out from, every time he almost made it out the winds pushed him back in so all I could do was try and navigate my way around the shit splats on the floor and get to him.

RNJesus decided to smite me for trying to help him and cursed me with Toxic Wound just as he managed to get out.

“Oh God! Don’t follow me! I’ve got the shit on me!”

I ran around in a circle trying to get some heals out on him and then found myself standing in the only clean spot for miles around. I had managed to create a clean spot that was the exact size of my characters feet…

Due to Francis being the only one of us there that had their big-boy pants on, he did all the hard work in killing that boss. Then we ran over to the cavern/cave thing to make our way to the big Sea Giant bastard.
Lorenz, despite being a Rogue decided that face pulling was the thing Rogues did now and managed to pull a lobster.

“Jesus Christ Lorenz you’ve pulled…”
“No I haven’t” he said as he stealthed away an left the lobster doing its peenchy-peench thing on Dan.

We got out somehow and Lorenz managed to pull another smaller Sea Giant. We had three of them, churning out lighting and murlocs like they were going out of fashion and we still had the winds to contend with.

“Fuck sake Lorenz! You’ve done it again!” Francis spat into his headset as he frantically tried to get this rodeo under control.
“It wasn’t me!” came a reply that you would expect to hear from a hunter.
“Err, it was you…”
“Fine. Look, its dead now.”

“You killed my son!” Yep, and an extra two for good luck.

With all the shit going on due to the stat squish I wasn’t sure how the Sea Giant was going to go with the bubbles and shit.

“Do you have to dodge the bubbles on the floor?” Lorenz asked, slightly concerned that he might get reked by some graphics on the floor.
“I’m not moving and it’s hardly doing anything” I replied, nonchalantly throwing a renew on myself and watching it comfortably cover the damage I was getting.
Lorenz apparently also stood still to see what would happen and then started screeching over Discord.
“For the first time, I think I might have to dodge them… OH fuck!”
His health plumeted and with just a sliver of yellow showing on my raid frame I chucked out my ‘oh shit’ spell. from that point on, he god all the renews and protection I could give him.

Ye Olde Sea Giant got dispatched and we went off to the last boss.
Lorenz got polymorphed on our way round killing the last adds.
“Well, I’m polymorphed…” He sighed.
“That’s fine, keeps you out of trouble…”

It was strange seeing the boss with that little health. I hadn’t been in here since the stat squish and he looked like a boss that if I was on my Hunter, I would have had to equip a really shit bow to prevent myself from one-shotting him.

During the fight he put that big blue circle on Lorenz, who promptly ran away from the group while dodging the rest of the shit the boss was throwing out.

Concerned, I turned to Francis without speaking on Discord.

“Shouldn’t he be stacking with that?”
“With what?”
“The big blue ring?”
“Well, yes but he should just use Cloak of Shadows…”

I decided to not run after him as 1- I would have never got there in time and 2-if he did use Cloak of Shadows I would be dead anyway.
He was out of range so I just had to hope that he didn’t get himself killed while I ran off to deposit the arcane bomb thing that I ended up with. As i turned back to rejoin the group I was presently surprised to see him back with the group and very much alive.

Which two seconds later, the same couldn’t be said for the boss.


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